Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.
You could stay with your husband, but it sounds like he is thinking of himself at this point and not about you. So it may not be a wise decision to stay. He may end up hurting you more, especially if he is not willing to see this as his fault and get help with you to repair your marriage.
It is very heartbreaking to have to end a marriage. And if you decide to end yours, it will be difficult for a while. You still love your husband even in spite of what he has done. That shows you have a huge capacity to love. But you also need to think about having that same love for yourself. Allowing your husband to come and go as he pleases, ignore your wedding vows and embarrass you in front of others is hard on your self esteem and deeply hurtful. In order to gain back some of that esteem and gain control over your life again, you will need to decide how you want to handle your marriage and not allow your husband to have the control. Your husband is not thinking of you or your marriage. So you will need to be the strong one here.
Ending your marriage is a loss. Any loss will cause you to mourn. Mourning is difficult to go through. No one wants to do it. But as you work through your loss, you become stronger for it. And more experienced. You also will learn to love yourself so the next relationship you have you have a better chance of making a go of it because you will know what you want and what you need.
If you choose to end your marriage, do not go through it alone. There are many resources out there to help you. Divorce, unfortunately, is very common. So the amount of help available is endless. Here are some resources to get you started:
Should I Stay Or Go? : How Controlled Separation (CS) Can Save Your Marriage by Lee Raffel
Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay: A Step-by-Step Guide to Help You Decide Whether to Stay In or Get Out of Your Relationship by Mira Kirshenbaum
My Husband's Affair Became the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me by Anne Bercht
Getting Past the Affair: A Program to Help You Cope, Heal, and Move On -- Together or Apart by Douglas K. Snyder PhD, Donald H. Baucom PhD and Kristina Coop Gordon PhD
You can find these books on Amazon.com or your local library may have them for you.
Remember, you need to care for yourself during this time of decision. If you can, go out with friends or spend time with family. Talk to those who understand. Rely on your counselor to help you. Maybe even go to counseling more often if you need the support. You will get through this and end up happier than you are now. Hang in there.
Let me know if I can help in any other way,