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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5402
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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Is it normal to feel your daughters emotional pain to the point

Resolved Question:

Is it normal to feel your daughters emotional pain to the point as if it is happening to you?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 3 years ago.

Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.

 

Although it is not common, it can happen. What it tells you is that you are a very empathic person. It also tells you that you are a giving person who cares deeply about others, especially your daughter.

 

How you should handle your ability depends on how you feel about it. If you are ok with it, then other than shielding your daughter from the burden of your pain or other emotions, there is nothing you need to do. You can allow your daughter to know that you understand her feelings, but taking it any further than that may make her feel guilty or responsible.

 

If you do not like how you feel, there are ways you can work on it. Here are some ways to control how you respond:

 

When you feel upset, take a moment to step away and take a deep breath.

 

Focus on yourself. Think about who you are and what you are experiencing. Listen to your own breathing.

 

Visualize something calming and soothing. An ocean with waves, a mountain scene, or other calming scene.

 

Put yourself back into your parental role. Realize you are there to focus on your daughter's feelings and that you can push your feelings aside until later. Then find time to let your feelings out.

 

Find someone you can talk to so you have a place to go to let your feelings out. Whether that be your husband, a friend, other family member or a counselor. You need a chance to vent and allow yourself to unburden your stress.

 

If at any time you notice that your empathy is starting to affect you or your daughter in a negative way, seek counseling. You can find a therapist by searching on line at:

http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/.

 

Let me know if I can help in any other way,

Kate

 

 

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5402
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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