I have recently seperated from my husband who i am concerned about, expecially in relation to my safety and our 3 children.
our marraige broke up mainly due to my husbands often seemingly unprovoked verbally abusive rages (that were so vicous and nasty you couldnt believe what was being said,) that over the years gradually go worse culminating in a physical assult.
He is considered to be one of the most caring, jolly and passionate people around, yet I seemed to be living with a jeckle/hyde scenario.
after the 1st physical attack, I found my voice and said that the rules were going to change... ie.. counselling/anger management etc...which he did
not want to do. (we had about 3 couselling sessions that didnt go anywhere) He from that moment got increasingly worse in his behaviour. I understand that he was very fearful of the outcome (ie: would our marraige make it) but his behaviour continued to get more threatning, (threatening to hit), obsessing that I was having an affair, waking me up in the middle of the night to 'talk' or 'rage' texts and emails that sometimes went into the 50's or 70's in number. and the verbal abuse just horrendous. some of this was in the presence of your 4 year old, but he was smart enough not to expose the 2 older children ( though there were times when they asked questions such as "was daddy throwing things at you?" or "why are you shaking Mummy") Finally after living in paralised terror (I cant believe I did it) I said enough was enough.
Now he is making things increasingly diffucult. When it comes to his time with the children, he is thinking I am trying to withhold them from him when for example today my 9 year old asked if he could stay with his dad tonight. (my husband has 35% access) he wasnt due till a couple of nights time, but I believe in 'leaving the gates open' with the children, and so rang and asked if he would like the boy for the night (on top of the designated days). he has sent 48 abusive texts accussing me of power games and manipulation. (he was unable to have hime for the night and I understand that he was probably projecting his own anger and frustration for not being able to have him). but this is just a mild example of what is becoming an almost everyday occurance. A couple of weeks ago was very concerning as during his weekend with the children he locked himself in the bathroom and wouldnt come out - luckily he had the sense to call be to come and get the children. What am I to do? he is 47 with untreated ADD
and has been in hospital twice this year (and few before then) with chest pains due to anxiety
. Iwould appreciate some input. thank you RB