Interesting to me that you feel that I am hurt - actually it makes me very angry with our son for not being smarter and for allowing this to go on. He should know much better, since we did
teach him not to mention his own experiences. What I would like to see is for our son to tell Jimmy, something like, ''Ok, there Jimmy old pal, if you are serious then let me talk with your dad and get an application in. If not, then stop talking to me about it. '' I am disappointed in our son for allowing himself to be dangled like this.
I just remembered another son of mine, quite grown and in his 40's who also let himself be led by the nose for some time on the promise of a possibility of some great job or business deal. I took one smell of it and told him to get out - that he'd never get the money they supposedly owed him and there was no deal nor about to be one. He also got defensive, (at 40 ? ) and wasted another 6 months or more, don't remember, until finally there it was. My son had kissed the feet of this man to no avail, and again once with a woman, same thing , different facts.
What I am hearing from myself is that I dislike seeing anybody being taken advantage of. Normally I have been able to fend for myself, very well, but I have seen so many who could not. I'm not happy for my sons to see that they seem to be lost in illusions rather than based in reality. A wise person knows that life is too short to make all your own mistakes, that we all need to heed the good advice given to us, when it is, and when there is anybody who cares enough to bother to give it. I have had other children go far afield and get stuck into horrible, trapped lives of poverty and problems (those go hand in hand). I am thinking out loud.
I want this son, Cal, to call his friend Jimmy on this, ask to talk with his dad, or give him the company and contact information so he can go to apply and use them as his recommendation. Now. If I tell him this, he is going to most likely react in a negative way, so I haven't said anything more.
I am way too old for a therapist - I spent 37 years with Pan Am World Airways, seeing a shrink off and on much of the time, and when other crappy stuff came along, and 20 years with an association with a child psychiatrist who was the doctor for the 5 kids we adopted 22 years ago. Yes, Cal is one of them. No, my other son in his 40's is not, he is my natural born.
I have come to the conclusion that I should speak with Cal again, tell him to put it to his friend that he would like to speak with his dad to verify the job and recommendation. Otherwise, he needs to put his mental and emotional energy towards another direction. They have been friends for a long time, years, though not so close all the time, so friendship here is not at risk, I think. I appreciate our time and answer.