Ask a Psychiatrist and Get Answers to Mental Health Questions ASAP
Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.
It sounds like your son's friend is telling him about this job because he either thinks there really is a job (it could be that his father is leading him on and this is not Jimmy's doing) or he likes the excitement and attention he is getting from your son and does not want to give it up by telling him there really is not a job. He may also be afraid he would lose his friendship, especially at this point.
It could also be that Jimmy is being purposely mean and spiteful, but this does not sound like the case from your description of him.
Your son may also be caught up in the excitement of the situation and not be experienced enough to know what is going on. You telling him your insight probably just made him feel defensive, particularly common with young adults. At that age, young adults feel they are wise and know what is good for them.
This may be a case of allowing your son to learn a lesson. It is hard and very difficult to watch, especially since you can see what is happening, but by letting him get hurt in this situation, you allow him an experience he will not likely forget. If he just listens to your advice, he may be more willing to get caught up in a similar situation in the future. But if he sees this situation play through, it will not likely happen again.
You can also suggest to him that while he waits for his friend's job to come through, he could look for other work as well. That way, if this job does not work out (at no fault of his friend's) then he will have something else lined up. He may consider your advice if he does not see it as a must do, but a suggestion instead.
I hope this helps you,Kate
People have the ability to deny what they actually see in front of their face. That may be the case here with your son. He doesn't want to face that this could be nothing more than a pipe dream. It is hard to tell without talking to him directly what exactly he is seeing in this situation, but that would be my guess based on what you said.
It is also hard to tell what Jimmy is getting out of the situation without talking to him face to face, but it is probably what I mentioned above. He either is directly and purposely being mean (which means there is something going on with him mental health wise) or he truly believes that this job could be a reality. He could also be caught up in the situation and not see a good way out for himself.
It is good to share your experience with your kids. But the kids have to be willing to accept the experience and include in into their lives. It is much like the saying you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make him drink. You can show your son the error of his ways, but unless he sees it as well, he can choose to ignore it.
I know it hurts you to see your son manipulated. That may be a good focus for you since your son is not willing to hear you about this. Talk to others about how this hurts you and if you feel the need, see a therapist for a short while, or someone like a pastor. They may be able to help you come to terms with how you feel about it.
.OKMH53016130 My son is very anxious. He gets like