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TherapistMarryAnn
TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
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Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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Im 22 years old. A year ago I was diagnosed with mild schizophrenia,

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I'm 22 years old. A year ago I was diagnosed with mild schizophrenia, I hear voices, have hallucinations and have strange fancies from time to time. At the moment I'm plagued by what could be either a very insistent fancy, a void from long ago or possibly a legitimate desire. I want to have a baby.
On the plus side, while I don't have a male partner in my life to speak of, I'm extremely well equipped financially despite my young age to have a baby, room in the house and wonderfully supportive parents who would be thrilled to have a grandchild.
On the negative side, see the first paragraph.
So my question is, should I have a baby or am I being ridiculous?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  TherapistMarryAnn replied 5 years ago.

Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.

 

It is a difficult choice to make, even in the best of circumstances. A baby is a great responsibility. The rewards are wonderful. And the work is incredible, especially if you are alone.

 

There is nothing wrong with your desire to have a child. The important thing to consider is why you feel this way. Sometimes the desire to have a child is because of loneliness. Other times it is a desire to belong. And it can be about a jealousy of other people who have children.

 

You may want to consider talking to a therapist or pastor (if you attend church) to explore your feelings about having a child. This will help you determine if your desire is real or if you are feeling the need to fulfill an empty spot in your life. If you choose to see a therapist, you can ask your doctor for a referral. Or you can search on line at http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/.

 

You can also talk with your friends or family who already have children. Ask them detailed questions about what it is like. You may get some inaccurate answers, but for the most part, parents love to tell others about their experiences.

 

Also, consider finding out information about being a single parent. This includes the effects on you and your child. Single parent homes whether through divorce, choice or death often affect the children in one way or another. This way, you can be aware of the good and bad before you chose.

 

Here are some resources to help you:

 

Single Moms Raising Sons: Preparing Boys to Be Men When There's No Man Around by Dana S. Chisholm

 

God Loves Single Moms: Practical Help for Finding Confidence, Strength, and Hope by Teresa Whitehurst

 

Single Parenting That Works: Six Keys to Raising Happy, Healthy Children in a Single-Parent Home by Kevin Leman

 

You can find these on Amazon.com or your local library may have them for you.

 

I hope this has helped you,

Kate

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