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TherapistMarryAnn
TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5770
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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I have OCD. recently I have been worried about getting upset

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I have OCD. recently I have been worried about getting upset with my four year old and feel guilty when I get upset with her. Is this OCD?

Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.

 

No, feeling guilty or upset with yourself while trying to be a good parent is not about OCD. It is simply you trying to do a good job. Most parents feel guilty about a lot of things they do. There is no guidelines or rule books for parenting, so most people go about it the best they can. And when they feel they have made a mistake, the guilt can be strong.

 

If you feel that you are getting upset with your daughter more than usual or that your reactions are beyond normal, then you may need a break or someone to talk to about how you feel. But if you are getting upset for specific reasons and your reaction is normal, then you are just experiencing normal parental guilt feelings. Know that you are not alone with how you feel. It is very normal.

 

I hope this has helped you,
Kate

Customer: replied 5 years ago.

ok. I think my reaction is normal for example. When I try to get dressed and put makeup on my daughter takes my make up and wants to put it on and then gets in front of the mirror and I become very frustrated because I like to get dressed alone. I try to remain calm but feel guilty for the way I feel inside. Should I feel guilty for wanting my own space. For days I will obsess about why I get so frustrated.

No, as a parent there needs to be a limit on how much you can do without a break. Every parent needs time on their own. Your daughter is naturally curious and doesn't understand your need to be alone at times. Most children don't, until they are well into their teen years. But it is unnatural to spend every waking moment with your child. She needs to learn to play on her own and occupy herself as well.

 

What you can do is try to occupy your daughter when you need time alone. Put on a favorite program for her to watch, set aside pretend makeup for her on the floor, or allow another family member take care of her while you get ready.

 

Set aside time for yourself during the day too. If you can, get a babysitter or a family member to watch her for an hour or so. Or provide her with an activity while you get something done. Whatever you feel would occupy her for a while. Then take time for yourself. Just keep her within eyesight and she will be fine.

 

There is no reason to feel guilty about needing time. By getting a break, you make yourself a better parent when you spend time with your daughter.

 

Kate

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