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Bill
Bill, LCSW, Consultant, Expert Witness
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 3706
Experience:  35 years treating individuals, couples, families with mental health and substance abuse prob's
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My soon to be mother in law unintentionally brings up stories

Resolved Question:

My soon to be mother in law unintentionally brings up stories about my Fiance's ex-husband and/or his family. Not often, but I really dont want to hear it. I explained it to my Fiance and she told her mother a piece of her mind. Her father got involved and told her that I overreacted. Now, my Fiance is giving me the silent treatment and I dont know why. Any suggestions?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Bill replied 5 years ago.
Hello- Thank you for asking the question here at JustAnswer. I have read what you have written and am happy to respond.

I am sorry to hear about this is happening in your life. Unfortunately, it is not an uncommon problem for mother-in-laws to start provoking the marriage of their children. What you describe is one of many ways that a current or future mother in laws seek to include themselves in your business.

I am glad to hear that you finance' defended you. You need her to be aligned with you and defend your relationship boundaries. If her Dad got involved then he obviously has some power over her which she needs to recognize as neither mother or father in law should be getting involved and aggravating the relationship with your fiancée

Bringing up ex husbands is particularly inappropriate and in my opinion, mean!

The following is a great link to help you "Set limits with the In-laws."
Share it with your fiancée:

http://marriage.about.com/b/2007/05/29/in-laws-and-the-need-for-boundaries.htm

I trust that this has helped to answer your question and wish you the best,

Bill

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