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Kristin
Kristin, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 454
Experience:  Licensed Mental Health Counselor. 11+ years specialist in mental health. Expertise and insight!
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Im an 18 year broadcasting executive...bought out 4 years

Resolved Question:

I'm an 18 year broadcasting executive...bought out 4 year's ago from one of the tv networks and has been without a FULLTIME job for 4 years. I work for several networks on a freelance basis but the unpredictable income and inconsistent schedule has caused a severe strain on my marriage and relationship with my two children, 14 and 11. People all around me say, "you're the greatest at your job, you'll find something." Problem is, bad economy and I keep running into nasty, resentful, and just bad people who are in-charge of H-R Departments or hiring.

I'm at a loss on many front because I'm the mentoring-type to others and always try to stay positive but the past few years have been tough. I've even tried talking about various topics with my closest friends and others and they can't relate...some of my friends have even shunned away because "there's too much baggage."

Right now, I feel there's no such thing as "help" or someone that understands my situation. However, I know that's no true...but, I don't know where or to whom to turn?

Thanks for your time.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kristin replied 5 years ago.

Hello and thank you for your question.

 

It sounds like this has been a major transition for both you and your family, to go from such a stable position for many years, to work that is inconsistent and therefore more unsure. That is difficult for anyone, and as you know, though you may feel alone, there are so many people in your exact same situation in this tough economy. So, one thing you are not, is alone!

Can you tell me what kind of changes have occurred in the marriage due to this career shift? Is there not enough income, so stress is high? Or are there other dynamics going on in the marriage?

Customer: replied 5 years ago.

of course, like with anything, it all comes down to money. my wife's brother was a freelance editor for high-profile tv shows and she's somewhat familiar with the varied income schedule. there are no "other" dynamics to our marriage. my wife blames me for our current situation and doesn't realize how much rejection there is relating to a typical job search...even though I've explain this many times.

I do feel alone..even though I'm one of many millions with the same story. however, I don't give-up on anything...but since there's been nothing fulltime in 4 years, I think my wife has become quite bitter about our marriage. finally, I'm struggling on an emitional front about how to deal with "head-hunters" and agents coming after me...full knowing it's all about money...and I've had some very bad luck dealing with some very bad people.
Expert:  Kristin replied 5 years ago.

Thank you for the additional information. I'm not sure what you mean when you say the agents and head-hunters are coming after you, but as you said, their job is to find the best qualified candidate and also to deal with incomes, salaries, etc. so money is a huge part of their job etc. So, they may feel like sharks but perhaps just reframing your thoughts of them as being a resource for you would be helpful.

 

Of course you are going to feel more alone when your wife is not supportive of you and blames you for the lack of steady full-time work. She must not understand what is involved in finding work in this economy or exactly what your situation is, etc. What is good is that you don't give up on anything and though you have encountered some "bad" people out there, you will also run into some good opportunities and people as well.

 

What would be helpful for you right now, is to gain support at home while also reframing your experience of your job search into something that will happen, and that you will attain. The additional stress at home really needs to be addressed as it's something that can be worked through now, rather than later. Ask your wife exactly what you can do, so that she will not feel bitter or resentful and then do those things. Ask her to give you specifics about what she thinks you have not done or need to do still regarding your job search so that you better understand where her feelings are coming from. If you feel defensive, just take a deep breath and let her know clearly exactly what you are doing, and what your plans are towards the search. Let her know that the bad experiences you have had, are in the past, and that you know there are opportunities out there.

Then get on the phone, and have an agent set up interviews for you, and try to have at least one per week or something always going.... the momentum will be good for you, even if it's not the perfect opportunity.

If you would like to provide your zip code, I can give you a list of therapists in your area and perhaps you and your wife could get a few sessions together....Please click ACCEPT button for this answer, and feel free to continue the discussion even after clicking accept. Thank you!

Expert:  Kristin replied 5 years ago.
Did you have any more questions for me? If so, please do ask...if not please click accept so I'm credited for my answer. thank you.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

my zip is 20877, just outside washington dc...rockville, maryland area. my main focus is
dealing with this and feeling I'm the only going through this.
Expert:  Kristin replied 5 years ago.

Hi,

 

Okay the first link is therapists directly in Rockville, who I narrowed down to those who address coping skills during transitional times, feeling alone, etc. The second link are therapists in your zip code. I wish you all the best and really encourage you to seek out some counseling as I think it could really help you to feel supported, validated and help you with how you are feeling. And it will be a nice change for someone who has been the mentor to others, to be on the receiving end of some of that same support and guidance. Please accept and I wish you the best.

 

Thank you.

 

 

http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_results.php?sid=1306946380.192_21927&city=Rockville&county=Montgomery&state=Maryland&spec=249&lmore=2

 

http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_results.php?sid=1306946465.5356_3540&zipcode=20877&county=Montgomery&state=Maryland&spec=249&lmore=2

 

 

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