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Kristin
Kristin, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
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Experience:  Licensed Mental Health Counselor. 11+ years specialist in mental health. Expertise and insight!
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I believe my wife is depressed. For over a month, she has

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I believe my wife is depressed. For over a month, she has been lethargic, expresses feelings of hopelessness and decreased self-worth, and is increasingly angry. She sometimes sleeps more than 12 hours per day. I've seen her cry more in the last few months than I have in the total time I've known her. She has skipped social events or been exceptionally quiet or moody when we have met friends. Two nights ago she began crying uncontrollably and started vomiting. This was after taking two Xanex.

After that, I got scared. I called her GP and scheduled an appointment for her today. I told her last night that I was really worried about her and asked her to go to see her doctor today. She became furious and blamed me for putting her through some stressful events lately. (We have had a lot of stressful events lately - new job for me, moving into a smaller house, work events, travel, and we are seeking fertility treatment). Then she packed her bags and left to stay at her parents house.

She has agreed to go to the doctor (though she is convinced that he is going to tell her that all this is normal stress from these life events). And she's said that she thinks I should go with her, which I am. I don't know what to expect. I'm worried about her and, frankly, I'm worried about us.

My question is: am I pushing too hard for her to get help? Should I back off and let her figure it out? Until now I've just tried to be supportive but the vomiting scared me and I decided to act. Should I tell her parents what's going on? Any advice would be appreciated.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kristin replied 3 years ago.

Hello and thank you for your question.

 

It sounds like you are being supportive of her and are basically just looking out for her best interest. The symptoms you describe do sound like depression and I agree with you that she should be seen by her doctor. You made the right call there to get her help now, sooner rather than later. Even though she is angry with you and left to cool down, the anger could be just another sign of her mood/depression, or it could be about the recent stressors, etc. Regardless, one thing is certain is that she does need to see her physician (it's good that you are going with her) and it was the right thing for you to suggest. Don't second guess yourself about that one. I would wait and see what the doctor says today, before you decide on talking with her parents. The doctor might suggest an antidepressant and/or therapy and if you see an improvement, then of course, it may not be necessary to tell her parents. I would really wait and see what happens after the appointment, what the doctor advises, and how she progresses from here. If you would like to give me your zip code I can send you a list of therapists in your area who treat depression. You can also ask the doctor for any referrals as well.

Once she is feeling better, she may not be angry anymore and if she still is angry, then at that point you can address any issues in the relationship. But for now, the depression really is what needs to be addressed.

Please click ACCEPT button for this answer and feel free to continue discussion even after clicking accept. Thank you.

Expert:  Kristin replied 3 years ago.

Hi,

 

Did you want me to get the list of therapists for you in your area? Please do remember to click on ACCEPT button, so I'm credited for my help today. Thank you....

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