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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1377
Experience:  Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
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My father died when I was 14. Im now a female 47. Mom blames

Customer Question

My father died when I was 14. I'm now a female 47. Mom blames me for his death and this statement was made for years. I know I didn't kill my dad, who by the way had a heart attack. This went own for years and 32 years later she still lothes me. I''ve tried to keep her life in a good life style and always make sure she lacks for nothing. I am very good to her. Afterall God says we are to honor our parents. It doesn't matter how much I do for her she still comes across very bitter and toxic towards me. I have had enough and can no longer continue pretending that I have this "imaginary mother" It has effected me emotional. I have now made the decision...I want nothing to do with her. Any advise?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Mark replied 6 years ago.

Hi! You know, to give you the best answer, I think I should ask you a few questions first that will help define the problem and the situation.

It might be true that you have to stop having contact but let's first get a little more clarity on the situation, okay?

When was the last time she made the statement? How often has she said it in total?

Does she say she loathes you? What does she say?

What did she mean by asking, "Have you never said things you didn't mean?"

And what did you mean that she said it in a toxic way?

Any extra information that will help, feel free to share.

Let's go forward from the answers to these questions.

Please go ahead and post your response. I may be away from the computer for the night before you respond. If so, would tomorrow be okay for me to respond?

Dr. Mark