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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5424
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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if a very good friend of mine is in a marriage that she desperately

Customer Question

if a very good friend of mine is in a marriage that she desperately wants to get out of for her own happiness and well being to exist again,but she doesnt have the confidence or self- worth to believe in the fact she deserves to be happy even if it probably means divorce. would it be a therapist or a psychiatrist that she would need to show her that it is ok to move on if it is necessary. she has to a point been emotionally abused or stripped of her self worth. as a best friend i struggle on a daily basis with her being miserable everyday and not having the courage to make herself happy. all i think she needs is to see she can get out of that the hole she is slowly burying herself in and that it isnt hopeless . can you give me some advice please?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 3 years ago.

Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.

 

It is important that your friend wants out of her situation so you can help her. If she is not willing to get help, then there will be little you can do except support her until she is ready and try to encourage her to seek help.

 

If she does want help, there are numerous resources to help her. She can start by seeing a therapist. She can see any therapist that has either a Master's degree or a Ph.D. A Master's level therapist will have either M.Ed, MA, MSW or LSW after their names. Some have additional licenses, either national or state level. The type of degree tells you what the therapist is trained in. For example, I have a M.Ed which is a Master's in Counseling. An MA has a Master's in psychology theory and a MSW/LSW has a Master's in social work which is the study of family and social systems. A PhD is someone who has a doctorate in those fields, mostly counseling and education.

A psychiatrist is a medical doctor that specializes in mental health related medications. Unless she is having trouble with her daily activities and her feelings are too overwhelming for her to cope, she most likely does not need medication.

Your friend can find a therapist by either talking to her doctor for a referral, speaking with her pastor if she attends church, or by searching on line at http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/. She can search by zip code for her area.

 

There are also many resources to help her learn to help herself and recover. Here is a list to get her started:

 

http://www.thehotline.org/- this includes information for her and for you to help her with.

 

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm

 

The Emotionally Abusive Relationship: How to Stop Being Abused and How to Stop Abusing by Beverly Engel

 

The Emotionally Abused Woman : Overcoming Destructive Patterns and Reclaiming Yourself by Beverly Engel

 

Emotional Abuse: The Trauma and the Treatment by Marti Tamm Loring

 

Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft

 

You can find these books on Amazon.com or your local library may have them for you.

 

Let me know if I can help in any other way,

Kate

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5424
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
thank you kate i will use your advice wisely
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 3 years ago.

You are very welcome! I am glad I could help. I hope everything works out well for your friend and if I can do anything else to help, please let me know. Your friend is blessed to have such a caring friend as you.

 

Kate

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