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David Akiva
David Akiva, BA, MA,
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 167
Experience:  Counselor; Behavioral Consultant
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Hi my name is Kelly. Im am a single mother who has not been able to find work in 11

Resolved Question:

Hi my name is Kelly.
I'm am a single mother who has not been able to find work in 11 mths., but that unfortunetly is not my biggest problem. I have 3 children and my oldest daughter is 15 and has been hopitalized 4 times in the last yr &a 1/2 for major depression. up until 2 mths ago she has been doing great. Now she is talking back to me, telling other parents how best to parent their kids, skippng over 20 classes a month and just yesterday called her one of her teachers a bitch. There are to many other things going on to list and I need to know how to help her. All I seem to be doing is getting angry. she has a respit worker a therypist and a social worker, plus the staff at her high school and knowbody seems to be able to help. she doesn't care about the consequences. I would appreciate any help you can give as we r all drowning here. Thanks, XXXXX XXXXX
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  David Akiva replied 3 years ago.

Duddy :

Welcome, I am a professional counselor, behavioral-consultant and relationship expert. Do you mind if I get some more info from you to better understand your situation and your presenting question?

Customer:

yes

Duddy :

Thank you...

Duddy :

I see that you are typing so I'll wait for your response.

Customer:

i am a slow typist so please be patient. Are you waiting for me or are you typing out your ques?

Duddy :

No problem. I'll ask my questions...

Duddy :

The best way to for me to provide you with a strong practical answer to your question is to fully understand your question...

Customer:

whats ur ques?

Duddy :

Sorry, I was just reading over your question.

Duddy :

Has your daughter been formally diagnosed?

Customer:

ok

Customer:

yes with savere depression

Customer:

spelling doesn't count right?

Duddy :

No spelling is not an issue nor are typos as you'll I make lots of mistakes as I type also..

Customer:

and I think odd

Duddy :

lol

Duddy :

So, what are you're daughter's top 3 problem behaviors?

Duddy :

What advice and strategies have the experts you're working with recommended?

Duddy :

Has anything been helpful?

Customer:

no respect for authority & no nothing has been helpful

Customer:

obstinant difiance but how is that different from a regular teen?

Customer:

not caring about any of the consequences

Duddy :

What kind of therapy is your daughter receiving?

Customer:

she was enrolled in a program when she left her last partial program where she has services at home. meaning the respit and SW come to the home and help her cope and deal with day to day life. this is till ongoing. She also see's a therapist once a week and yesterday she told me brigid has graduated to everyother week. And she has to check in the the school SW every 3 wks

Duddy :

Thank you for that....

Duddy :

What explanation and specific strategies does the the therapist, social worker or other formal contact person with you, say is the problem related to the defiance you are seeing?

Duddy :

What specific parenting strategies or parenting-training interventions have they offered you?

Customer:

The program also offers a parent advocate that visits with me once but she is only another parent that has gone through sonthing similar. It is not very helpful. The respit worker says she is at a loss and thats what the sw at schol says too

Duddy :

Wow, what you've written sounds like a very challenging and difficult situation to say the least. I'll wait for your next response as I see you are typing...

Customer:

i would like to get brigid into a program like outward bound or somthing of that nature. Military school would be great too:)

Customer:

but i dont think either are within my financail reach. I was told today by the teacher she called a bitch that she has friends that are also no respectful of authority.

Duddy :

I'm very sorry to hear that...

Duddy :

I've worked with many families, foster families, kids and school programs as a therapist, treatment program developer and behavioral consultant...

Duddy :

I've learned that it's really important to have as clear an understanding as possible of the behavior problems and to get kids involved with evidence-based treatment programs that are backed by lots of research....

Duddy :

May I ask what city and state you are in?

Customer:

she has never been a follower. just sent a text to her respit worker asking her what she thinks is her biggest problem and she said: brigid doesnt like where she lives, my relationship with her and that Brigid has a very strog head and doesnt like rules. we moved to Wallkill, NY in Sept from Montrose NY where she has lived her whole life. We moved in with my boyfriend

Customer:

he is good with the kids or i would not have made the move but he is very rule oriented by not bad. I have been with the kids for 7 yrs without another adult so there was a lot of change for everyone involved. Some of his examlpes of rules are to clean up after yourself and try ur best to keep your room cleAN and to do the chores that you are asked to do with out and lip. pretty normal stuff

Duddy :

Yes that's pretty normal as far as parental expectations go.

Customer:

yeah there is nothing over the top its just she does not like beening told what to do

Customer:

do you know of any programs that I can get her involved in that will teach he respect?

Customer:

i ment her resect

Customer:

omg respect

Duddy :

I think the best answer I can give you here will start with saying that you should get the best available assessment and treatment available to you, related to the emotional and behavioral problems you are seeing as a parent. The best results-driven programs right now that are well funded are called "Multi-Systemic Therapy" and "Functional Family Therapy" for youth. Let me get you some links....I'll be back in a few minutes....

Customer:

ok

Duddy :

Here is the main MST program link:

Duddy :

http://mstservices.com

Customer:

are these in my area?

Duddy :

What county are you in?

Customer:

orange

Duddy :

Let me take a look...

Customer:

we r also on te border of ulster count too

Duddy :

Multi-Systemic Therapy



The Orange County Department of Social Services (DSS) funds a Multi-Systemic Therapy (MST) program. The program has been developed in partnership with the Orange County Department of Mental Health and RSS. MST is a unique, goal-oriented, comprehensive home-based clinical program designed to serve multi-problem youth in their community. All interventions are delivered in full collaboration with family members and key figures in each area of the child’s life -- parents or legal guardians, school teachers and principals, etc.



 


For Orange County residential programs contact:


Nolly Climes, Program Director


P.O. Box 220


Middletown, New York 10940


Phone:(NNN) NNN-NNNN/p>

Fax:(NNN) NNN-NNNN/p>

e-mail:XXX@XXXXXX.XXX

Duddy :

Does that look like the right area and area code for the phone number?

Customer:

yes its the right area code but it might be what she is already enrolled in

Duddy :

Do you have any documentation that says MST program "MultiSystemic Therapy" program?

Customer:

i will have to check. How are you affiliated with the Dr. Phil program? I thought I was writing the the initial ques to his show

Duddy :

Are you getting "behavioral parent training" where they teach you how to manage the problem behaviors?

Customer:

hang on let me see if i can find the name of program

Duddy :

JustAnswer.com is an affiliate of the Dr. Phil Show. Dr. Phil and his staff get thousands of questions per day and they can't answer them all. So they are working with our organization to try and help people get support and answers to their questions.

Duddy :

In MST you would get family therapy,

Duddy :

your daughter would get individual therapy, you would have 24 hour telephone contact support with a program supervisor..

Duddy :

and you would would get comprehensive behavioral parent training, often with a point and level system and a home school report card/communication.

Duddy :

The program usually lasts for about 6 months.

Customer:

the program we are in is called the waiver program it is out of Kingston<NY.

Duddy :

let me take a look at that program... back in a few moments....

Customer:

we already have the in home theraphy and 24 hr tele contact but i will look into the one you gave me

Customer:

She has the highest level of care in the waiver program

Duddy :

Ok. I've taken a look and can't find a specific link between the waiver program and MST or FFT.

Duddy :

Are you able to text that program person again to ask if this is an MST program?

Duddy :

Here is the link for the "Functional Family Therapy program" or FFT:

Duddy :

http://www.fftinc.com/

Customer:

let me call her sw and ask her cause the person is hired out of the waiver she is with MHA

Duddy :

This is a good break down of the clinical or treatment model of FFT. It's very similar to MST:

Duddy :

http://www.fftinc.com/about_model.html

Customer:

what does the mst stand for

Duddy :

Multi-Systemic Therapy...

Customer:

on phone now

Duddy :

These are "evidence based" treatments that have been shown through very rigorous studies to get very good results with most kids experiencing serious emotional and behavioral problems. They also have lasting results at 2 year follow up. So positive changes in behavior and mood last after a short intensive intervention period (6 months on average).

Duddy :

Here is a good break down of how MST works (again simillar to FFT):

Duddy :

http://mstservices.com/index.php/what-is-mst/treatment-model

Customer:

she is still on the phone with me she is saying brig is more of a behavior and not a mental health issue and that she will be moved out of this program soon and was put into it because of her suicdial thoughts & attemps and self cutting

Customer:

so she is a behavior problem

Customer:

ok off phone now

Duddy :

I would start really asking questions about local MST programs. I'd call MST program therapists and program managers (they won't charge you anything) directly in your area and find out as much as you can about the program and how to get involved. Find out if there is a waiting list etc. I'd also ask about behavioral parent training programs that you might be able to attend in the mean time as well like the "Love and Limits Program"... let me do some research here and get back to you here in a few moments...

Customer:

ok great

Duddy :

Did you say you were near ulster county as well?

Customer:

yes

Duddy :

Ok. I've really looked around online. There are a few MST programs in your area. I would start by contacting:

Duddy :

Susan K. Miller, ACSW


Managing Director


XXXXX/p>

Monticello, New York 12701


Phone:(NNN) NNN-NNNN/p>

Fax:(NNN) NNN-NNNN/p>

e-mail: skmiller@pronetisp.net

Customer:

i think thats to far

Duddy :

I'd ask XXXXX XXXXX about MST for your daughter and ask for names and contact info to the MST program manager or supervisor in your direct area. I'd then call that person and ask about MST and any other "Evidence-Based" resources like "Behavioral Parent Training" programs for you and your daughter.

Customer:

ok i will

Duddy :

Let me quickly look re FFT programs in your area.....

Customer:

ok

Duddy :

There is an FFT program running out of the Orange County Mental Health program in Goshen:

Duddy :

  • (845)(NNN) NNN-NNNN/li>

XXXXX Goshen, NY 10924

Duddy :

I would contact the main FFT program site as well, and ask for contact names and info for the FFT program in your area as well:

Duddy :

http://www.fftinc.com/contact.html

Duddy :

you can e-mail them..

Duddy : XXX@XXXXXX.XXX

Customer:

ok I will follow up with all the info you gave me. I willl only be charged the 35 right?

Duddy :

You will only be charged the $35 once, only after you have pressed the green "accept" button.

Duddy :

Is there anything else I can help you with today?

Customer:

lots! but i dont have the time right now but thanks for all you did today and for the information and hopefully it will be helpful

Duddy :

Ok. I wish you and your family the very best!

Customer:

thanks, XXXXX XXXXX and thhe same to you

Duddy :

Please don't forget to press that green accept button. I'd also appreciate any genuine positive feedback in the feedback box at sign out. Take care, Duddy.

Customer:

ok will do

David Akiva, BA, MA,
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 167
Experience: Counselor; Behavioral Consultant
David Akiva and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

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