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Ask Dr. K Your Own Question

Dr. K
Dr. K, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 357
Experience:  15 years clinical experience in all areas of psychiatry. Holistic and practical approach.
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I will like to know why my ex-boyfriend is writing inappropriate

Resolved Question:

I will like to know why my ex-boyfriend is writing inappropriate comments to women on facebook.I am on his friends list. The comment that he wrote was on four females referring to their breast.he knows that am able to see his comments.and this women he doesn't know them personally they are public figure.he have other friends on his list from his job and he don't make this type of comments to them.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. K replied 3 years ago.

Dr. K :

I think you need to try a direct approach and ask him. It sounds like it might be a combination of things. For one, it sounds immature. Second, the internet allows people to make inappropriate comments to or about others very easily. It would be much harder for hiim to make such comments directly to these women's faces. Also, men tend to engage in "locker room" talk in our culture. Often people make negative or inappropriate comments about others because it feeds there ego.

Dr. K :


I hope this helps. Let me know if you need more feedback. Good luck & take care. If you're back online soon, we can chat. Otherwise we can continue in a Q&A format.

______________________________________________________________________

Please let me know if you need more information. We can continue the dialog until you are satisfied. Once you are happy with the answers don't forget to hit the ACCEPT button & provide expert feedback. Also remember that this is not an official doctor patient relationship and not a substitute for a full live psychiatric evaluation. Thank you for using justanswers.com

Customer:

I don't know if am wrong but I just want to confirmed my suspicion. I have the suspicion that he is trying to get me jealous.

Dr. K :

That is a possibility. Keep in mind that people who aren't "psychologically sophisticated" (for lack of a better expression) often engage in immature or inappropriate behaviors subconsciously...

Customer:

Well he is a health profecional

Dr. K :

That doesn't matter. I treat many health professionals...even mental health professionals.

Customer:

really

Customer:

wow

Dr. K :

Some people just aren't introspective...and I think it's hard for people to become in touch with their subconscious unless they have had psychotherapy.

Dr. K :

There are some people (definitely not a majority) who are in touch with their subconscious through living health, being curious & introspective, and engaging in "self-therapy"...

Dr. K :

Sorry...got disconnected.

Dr. K :

You still there...?

Customer:

His been neglecting me.he speaks to me only by phone.because am the one that make the calls.it's been a long time we don't see each other

Customer:

and I try to make a date to see each other but he always tell me that he will call me to let me know

Customer:

but it never happens

Dr. K :

How old is he? What's his relationship history....divorced, single...?

Customer:

56yrs old

Dr. K :

Honestly, I don't think most people can stay friends after breaking up. You can't change him, but you can strengthen yourself to not let him get to you.

Customer:

divorced

Dr. K :

If he's trying to make you jealous or upset...it's working somewhat....you're allowing him to get to you and so you're here looking for help...

Customer:

yes I am

Dr. K :

If this is his behavior...maybe you are better off without him. Life is too short...you deserve to be healthy & happy...and with someone who loves & respects you.

Customer:

what happen in the past.it seems like he haven't forgatten

Customer:

I play him wrong in the past

Customer:

I will like to see him.I would like to know if I still love him

Dr. K :

Do you think there's a chance to see him or salavage teh relationsihp?

Customer:

what's a salavage teh relationship

Dr. K :

The get back together & fix things...

Customer:

I don't understand

Customer:

yes I do

Dr. K :

Then you need to be relatively direct and tell him.

Customer:

but I don't know if is a good idea that I should confront him

Dr. K :

Don't confront him about the facebook stuff....1st focus on seeing if he's willing to give things another shot.

Dr. K :

If things seem to work out well, you could gently ask him about the comments...or just drop it and move on...

Dr. K :

You are welcome.

Dr. K :

sorry...wrong chat

Dr. K :

for the welcome comment, that is...

Customer:

I will like to know if I still love him by seen him

Customer:

and [ want to see his reaction

Dr. K :

I don't think just seeing him will answer the question of whether you still love him. Seeing his reaction may be important.

Dr. K :

I think you should see a live therapist to explore this issue. It's something hard to accomplish in a simple chat mode here.

Customer:

we spoke over the phone and he told me.

Customer:

that I moved away to puerto rico and I got married

Customer:

so know he is making his life

Customer:

and that he call me when I was in puerto rico and I was with my sons father

Dr. K :

what specific questions do have for me now?

Dr. K :

I can't stress enough that I really think you should see a live therapist...weekly for at least 6 months...it will be the best treatment for you. Live therapy is proven by research to improve your brain.

Customer:

we spoke he told me that in the past he call me and I was we my ex husband

Customer:

and now he is going on with his life

Dr. K :

If you have a specific question, I will try to answer it. Otherwise, you should find a live therapist in your area.

Customer:

ok thank you

Dr. K :

I hope this helped. Please hit ACCPET to end the chat. Good luck & take care.
______________________________________________________________________
Please let me know if you need more information. We can continue the dialog until you are satisfied. Once you are happy with the answers don't forget to hit the ACCEPT button & provide expert feedback. Also remember that this is not an official doctor patient relationship and not a substitute for a full live psychiatric evaluation. Thank you for using justanswers.com

Customer:

I will like to know if is a good idea to see him?

Dr. K :

If he is willing, then try it.

Customer:

ok thank you

Dr. K, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 357
Experience: 15 years clinical experience in all areas of psychiatry. Holistic and practical approach.
Dr. K and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

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