Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.
You are absolutely right to be concerned about your grandson's psychiatrist's behavior. It is never good ethical practice to give opinions, swear or touch anyone. This psychiatrist is acting unprofessional and is playing buddy with your grandson, rather than treating him professionally.
Any mental health professional is taught that when helping patients, you are to be aware to keep strict professional boundaries and abide by an ethical code of conduct. That does not mean that you are distant and cold, but rather that you keep the relationship within healthy boundaries. You are not to bring up any private information or give a personally held belief or opinion. Saying that the worst thing your grandson can do is take a wife and have kids is definitely out of bounds and not helpful to your grandson. He is giving an opinion, not a helpful professional insight.
The psychiatrist also should not be touching you or anyone else. Any touching can be misinterpreted and could offend or further hurt a patient. Grabbing at you was uncalled for and unprofessional.
You can take steps to report this individual if you feel you want to go that route. You can contact the American Psychiatric Association for further information about how to report this man. Here is a link:
You should also suggest to your grandson that this doctor is maybe not the best one for him to see. Provide him with a list of other psychiatrists that he may want to chose. You can talk with your doctor for possible referrals. You can also search on line at:
Here is a link to help you find a good psychiatrist:
Although you cannot force your grandson to switch doctors, you can suggest it. Enlist the help of other family members and any other trusted professionals in your son's life, such as his family doctor. He may eventually make the change if he feels it is worth it.
I hope this has helped you,Kate
I did talk to the family doctor, he said we should put Drew in the hospital and get to the root of his problems, and on proper medication. My daughter says no to it. He also said, when I told him, Drews teacher told me he is sullen, quiet and keeps to himself in his class at 1:30, and this so called specialist said sullen is just another word for pissed off, Drew are ya pissed off at your teacher ? Drew said no, then "doc" said, maybe he was engrossed in doing his work, teachers don't know EVERYTHING !!
He then said, " I had you pegged the first five minutes in here, you are an enabler and worrier" and yes, I am...... but I added that I'M the one he aims all of his anger at, and every morning, I get barked at, in the evenings I get ignored and when I ask what's wrong, Drew tells me he doesn't want to talk about it, and I think Drew should learn to control his anger rather then let it control him, so he turns to Drew and tells him the next time I ask, pu a sock, preferably a dirty phy ed one, in my mouth GENTLY, and tell gramma to shut up. It was at this point I decided I best just not show any emotion or remark on any darn thing ! He said he could put Drew on anti-depressents, and wouldn't ya know, my poker face fell apart, and "doc" noticed it, and said it would be just fine, and I said I didn't like them, I don't like the side effects.... he told me there are no side effects, its all in their heads, and then I asked why do they warn you on TV that it may cause suicidal tendency's, and he said they do it to scare the shit out of you ! I told him, it worked !!! So he said what ya gonna do if I prescribe them ? I said he had two choices, he can keep Drew until he stablizes or I'll flush them........... he then said I was fiesty, and I said no... I can be a bitch, and you about have me there !! Pills don't solve the problem, it only covers it and what happens when he stops ?? I don't know..... I really am alone on this, my husband ignores things, and he tells me not to ask questions with Drew, just agree, and my daughter adds to his anger and hurt by not wanting him back home, only if she needs him to do something for her, she gets child support, we pay all his bills, and she can't afford his allowance most of the time, so we do that as well. But Drew does nothing here to earn it, and my husband tells me " he will " when the weather clears up.... maybe this is more about me trying to handle things alone then it is about Drew respecting people..... !!!
At this point, you can only make suggestions and allow Drew to decide how he wants to handle it. You can put restrictions on his behavior since you pay his bills and give him an allowance. If you feel his behavior is a choice and he can control at least some of it, start setting boundaries for him so he has to earn his way instead of just having it handed to him. This should help him start to learn to control how he acts out.
You can also choose to report the psychiatrist if you feel it would help. This may at least get your grandson a new doctor to work with.
As with any mental health or medical situation, the more people you involve the more opinions you will get, so it is best to see how Drew feels about his treatment and allow him to make decisions the best he can.
You are welcome! It is good Drew has you looking out for him. And it may be, with your example, he will come around once he matures a little.
Absolutely, you are doing the right thing standing up for Drew and although he may not realize it now, he will in the future. It's a balance between allowing him to learn consequences and guiding him to the right options. Every child needs someone advocating for them and having you in his corner will assure that he is not alone in finding his way.