If she is not comfortable with counseling, there are some other things to consider- support groups or EMDR treatment used with those suffering from PTSD; it differs from traditional talk therapy. Some of the support groups are even online and she can be anonymous when using the chat option.
Healing is a process. She surely knows that you're offering safe and supportive environment. As the man in her life who loves her, you want to fix this for her. You don't want her to suffer or bring these issues to the current relationship. But, you also know that resolving these issues will be mostly as a result of her work on herself.
The first book is from the vantage point of a woman who had struggled with the mistreatment of her husband. The second one focuses on what you can look for and do for her (because her mood and behavior can be as a result of her experience. Trauma/abuse and depression can coexist) The third book is for her to help her see how she is reliving and bringing the unresolved issues to her present relationship/life
Getting It Through My Thick Skull: Why I Stayed, What I Learned, and What Millions of People Involved with Sociopaths Need to Know by Mary Jo Buttafuoco (Hardcover)
When Someone You Love Has Depression by XXXXX XXXXX (Paperback )
When the Past Is Present: Healing the Emotional Wounds that Sabotage our Relationships by David Richo (Paperback )
Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.
There are many resources out there for women who have been in domestic abuse situations. Here are some resources to help you:
Family and Friends' Guide to Domestic Violence: How to Listen, Talk and Take Action When Someone You Care About is Being Abused by Elaine Weiss
Domestic Abuse: How to Help (Resources for Changing Lives) by David Powlison, Paul David Tripp and Edward T. Welch
Finding Your Way Through Domestic Abuse: A Guide to Physical, Emotional, And Spiritual Healing by Connie Fourre
It's My Life Now: Starting Over After an Abusive Relationship or Domestic Violence, 2nd Edition by Meg Kennedy Dugan and Roger R. Hock
Mommy's Black Eye: Children Dealing With Domestic Violence by William George Bentrim and Ms. Christi Schofield
When Dad Hurts Mom: Helping Your Children Heal the Wounds of Witnessing Abuse by Lundy Bancroft
Here is a link to an excellent resource on line:
There are many support groups and other sources of help on line and in the community for when your girlfriend feels ready to deal with how she feels. It may be that she was so traumatized that she is unable to face what happened. These resources should help give you ideas on how to approach her and help her through this pain. I also included a few books for your girlfriend's daughter. She may be at a different place with what she experienced so hopefully the books will help.
Let me know if you have any more questions I can help with,
I haven't heard from you. Did you have more questions or want clarification?
Thank you! If I can be of more assistance, please let me know.