Thank you for writing in to Just Answer.
I'm sorry to hear about the situation you are in. It sounds like the pressure to conceive is making it very stressful for both of you. And the stress
in turn is affecting your sexual appetite and decreasing your sexual self-esteem as you rightly put it.
This is exactly why I would encourage you to take a step back and let yourself and your husband relax. Think of it this way - the whole process of having a baby is meant to be enjoyed. It is an opportunity to experience and cherish intimacy with your partner. And as you enjoy the intimacy, pregnancy will just happen. I understand your concerns since you have been trying for some time and are currently undergoing fertility treatment. But I'd encourage you to try to relax and enjoy the intimacy as much as possible without focusing entirely of the end result (of becoming pregnant).
You and your husband can purchase books on sex, DVDs, CDs, aromatic candles, sex toys, bathsalts, erotic lingerie for yourself etc. that will help to spruce up your sex life and make it enjoyable and something to look forward to. The key is to let go of the anxiety
you and your partner currently face when it comes to having sex.
Here are some resources you can consider:
You can also consider consulting with a sex therapist for more guidance and to help in reducing the associated performance anxieties around sex.
As the two of you start to change your focus from your being pregnant to the two of you simply enjoying the intimacy your sexual self-esteem will rise and it will be easier to become pregnant.
I hope this was helpful.
Please do let me know if you have questions/thoughts. Please consider clicking on Accept if this was helpful as experts are not paid for their time or service otherwise.