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Arundhati, Counselor & Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 259
Experience:  Licensed psychotherapist, Published Wellness Author
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Im 21 years old and my parents are never supportive of me

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I'm 21 years old and my parents are never supportive of me it always seems as if they're trying to bring me down, I get called names all the time, i have a full time job and i get 1 day a week where i dont work and without question my parents will just come to me and say go do this or go do that without even asking if i want to, normally it's just random work around the house or something which is fine and dandy but i really want to relax sometimes and it seems as if when i'm not working i'm just a slave to them. i never get any kind of support and everyday is a fight to stay mentally sane around these people. i'm just not sure what to do
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Arundhati replied 5 years ago.

Thank you for writing in to Just Answer.

It seems that your parents are over-protective and over-involved in your life. Some parents tend to be this way more than others and in your case it seems especially so. Unfortunately, you will need to set some boundaries with your parents. You will need to be a little firm and assertive and learn to say no without offending them. This is not easy, especially if you haven't been doing that. But with some practice it is possible to develop diplomacy and assertiveness so that you do not feel like you're being pushed around.

I would encourage you to start by reading this tiny handbook on assertiveness that contains some excellent tips/techniques to becoming more assertive. It is called "When I say no, I feel guilty" and you can find it here.

Next, I would encourage you to consider working with a therapist or life coach on strengthening your assertiveness skills. With the constant support and encouragement from a therapist or life coach you will be better equipped to slowly build up your capacity to set and maintain boundaries with your parents without offending them.

I hope that was helpful. I have worked with many clients in a similar place as you are, so you certainly are not alone.

With some effort and persistence on your part you will be able to tackle this situation better.

Please click on Accept if this was helpful as experts are not paid for their time or service otherwise. And please feel free to let me know if you have questions/thoughts.

Kind Regards,

Arundhati and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

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