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Dr. K
Dr. K, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 358
Experience:  15 years clinical experience in all areas of psychiatry. Holistic and practical approach.
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I have anxiety and depression and am on hormone replacement

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I have anxiety and depression and am on hormone replacement therapy, citalapram, and xanax. I work in a small area with a fast pace and always seem plagued by a manipulative, annoying person. They distract me from my work, and then sit back and make a comment about how I didn't complete something.I am often times so frustrated with how these people act I want to get someone else's attention to what they are doing and it gets worse. I am afraid my reaction to these stressors is affecting my work. any thing brilliant you can suggest to turn this from inward to back at ya?

Dr. K :

Hi, are you there?

Customer:

yes- sorry I had to leave th room

Dr. K :

That's ok. I hear your dilema...here are some thoughts.

Dr. K :

I think trying out the EAP may be a good idea. In the meantime, it sounds like you're having some trouble setting limits and boundaries with this "toxic" colleague.

Dr. K :

I would try handling this either by yourself or by trying to directly communicate with this person before necessarily reporting it to the management.

Customer:

I am- unfortunately - my going to the third supervisor within a year was taken as a childish type problem- when moving us around in different areas didn't work- she turned it over to the next one up. by then I was at my wits end

Dr. K :

There are several books you can read that will help. I can't really diagnose this person, but they seem to have some traits of what is known as borderline

personality. There is a great book for people in your shoes on this topic: Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder by Paul T. Mason and Randi Kreger

Customer:

I am seen as the angry craven person as I try to stop them or expose their manipulating

Dr. K :

They key is this: you can't change this person...but you can enter a path of personal growth that helps you be stronger & thicken your skin so this person doesn't effect you as much.

Customer:

the boundaries one looks more like it

Dr. K :

Consider trying to increase your stress management skills. The best treatment for anxiety & depression is a combination of medications and psychotherapy. The EAP could offer some therapy...otherwise, maybe your doctor can you refer you to a good therapist.

Customer:

How do I fall out of the pattern of thinking it must be something wrong with me for someone to get into this game, or is it I am just biting too quickly

Customer:

My Dr immediately said " backstabbers"

Dr. K :

You don't want to feed into this. You are likley being baited into further confrontation.

Dr. K :


I recommend 1) psychotherapy with a live therapist to address social anxiety, and 2) learning some formal relaxation therapy.

The last 2 treatments I mentioned are proven by sophisticated studies using brain scans (CT, MRI, EEG, pet scans) to improve brain function.

Also, by formal relaxation therapy I mean yoga, meditation, or similar methods. Having relaxing hobbies is also important, but not quite the same as formal relaxation therapy.

And remember you can't separate emotional health from physical health, so exercise & nutrition are vital.

There are also other self-help books you can read which will help.

1) The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra, 2) The Feeling Good Handbook by David D. Burns; 3) The Relaxation & Stress Reduction Workbook (New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook) by XXXXX XXXXX.

Customer:

she has known me a long time and even with the anxiety - seemed to get it but at work now I am he oddman out

Customer:

thankyou for hearing me- I am tired of crying

Dr. K :

Positive thinking is an art and a science which takes practice. Instead of continuing the route of trying to expose things, take the high road. As the old saying goes, you catch more flies with honey. Be nice & polite to your coworkers...but not too much (reviewing the boundaries book will help you with this). Over time they will perceive a change in you and you won't be looked on as the odd man out.

Customer:

I hope so - I knew when my other colleagues took other positions I would be facing the loonies alone!- I have probably stabbed my self in the foot.

Dr. K :

The good news is you are willing to seek help & improve yourself. If you take my advice you will feel better. You seem articulate and are obviously intelligent enough to express your concerns and keep a job. Utilize your strengths to overcome your problems. Life is to short...try to enjoy it as well.

Customer:

Is this page printable so I can have a copy of the book titles?

Dr. K :

We all make mistakes...the key is most people don't always learn & grow from them...but you can. You have already shown humility to get help.

Customer:

thankyou for your kindness

Dr. K :

I don't think you can directly print it, but it should be easy to copy & paste it into a microsoft word or similar program and then print it.

Dr. K :

You are most welcome.

Dr. K :


I hope this helps. Let me know if you need more feedback. Good luck & take care.

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