Hi, are you there?
yes- sorry I had to leave th room
That's ok. I hear your dilema...here are some thoughts.
I think trying out the EAP may be a good idea. In the meantime, it sounds like you're having some trouble setting limits and boundaries with this "toxic" colleague.
I would try handling this either by yourself or by trying to directly communicate with this person before necessarily reporting it to the management.
I am- unfortunately - my going to the third supervisor within a year was taken as a childish type problem- when moving us around in different areas didn't work- she turned it over to the next one up. by then I was at my wits end
There are several books you can read that will help. I can't really diagnose this person, but they seem to have some traits of what is known as borderline
Where to Draw the Line: How to Set Healthy Boundaries Every Day by Anne Katherine is another really good one is
I am seen as the angry craven person as I try to stop them or expose their manipulating
They key is this: you can't change this person...but you can enter a path of personal growth that helps you be stronger & thicken your skin so this person doesn't effect you as much.
the boundaries one looks more like it
Consider trying to increase your stress management skills. The best treatment for anxiety & depression is a combination of medications and psychotherapy. The EAP could offer some therapy...otherwise, maybe your doctor can you refer you to a good therapist.
How do I fall out of the pattern of thinking it must be something wrong with me for someone to get into this game, or is it I am just biting too quickly
My Dr immediately said " backstabbers"
You don't want to feed into this. You are likley being baited into further confrontation.
she has known me a long time and even with the anxiety - seemed to get it but at work now I am he oddman out
thankyou for hearing me- I am tired of crying
Positive thinking is an art and a science which takes practice. Instead of continuing the route of trying to expose things, take the high road. As the old saying goes, you catch more flies with honey. Be nice & polite to your coworkers...but not too much (reviewing the boundaries book will help you with this). Over time they will perceive a change in you and you won't be looked on as the odd man out.
I hope so - I knew when my other colleagues took other positions I would be facing the loonies alone!- I have probably stabbed my self in the foot.
The good news is you are willing to seek help & improve yourself. If you take my advice you will feel better. You seem articulate and are obviously intelligent enough to express your concerns and keep a job. Utilize your strengths to overcome your problems. Life is to short...try to enjoy it as well.
Is this page printable so I can have a copy of the book titles?
We all make mistakes...the key is most people don't always learn & grow from them...but you can. You have already shown humility to get help.
thankyou for your kindness
I don't think you can directly print it, but it should be easy to copy & paste it into a microsoft word or similar program and then print it.
You are most welcome.