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Dr. K
Dr. K, Psychiatrist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 358
Experience:  15 years clinical experience in all areas of psychiatry. Holistic and practical approach.
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my wife says that she no longer loves me as a spouse, and that

Resolved Question:

my wife says that she no longer loves me as a spouse, and that she is in a relationship with a married man,she is willing to stay in the same house,but as a friend and that she will not leave me and keep looking after me. icannot live without her affection help me i am thinking of ending my life
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. K replied 5 years ago.

Dr. K :


f you feel like you are about to act on the suicidal thoughts, you must either 1) call 911, 2) go the nearest mental health crisis center (it's a good idea to call ahead & make sure they accept walk in patients), or 3) go the nearest ER. If you are not feeling safe to drive find alternate methods of transportation.

You can also call 1-800-suicide.

If you feel safe that you won't act on your suicidal thoughts, you should still see a live professional. If you can't find a good referral through friends, family, or your doctor, try using the internet or phone book. If you don't have insurance, most communities have a community mental health agency that can help patients.

Depression is best treated holistically. Medications can be helpful for some people. I also recommend 1) psychotherapy with a live therapist, and 2) learning some formal relaxation therapy.

The last 2 treatments I mentioned are proven by sophisticated studies using brain scans (CT, MRI, EEG, pet scans) to improve brain function.

Also, by formal relaxation therapy I mean yoga, meditation, or similar methods. Having relaxing hobbies is also important, but not quite the same as formal relaxation therapy.

And remember you can't separate emotional health from physical health, so exercise & nutrition are vital.

There are also several self-help books you can read which can help including: 1) The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra, 2) The Feeling Good Handbook by David D. Burns; 3) The Relaxation & Stress Reduction Workbook (New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook) by XXXXX XXXXX.

Customer:

i am at my wits end,i have never loved any one else in my life what to do

Dr. K :

 


f you feel like you are about to act on the suicidal thoughts, you must either 1) call 911, 2) go the nearest mental health crisis center (it's a good idea to call ahead & make sure they accept walk in patients), or 3) go the nearest ER. If you are not feeling safe to drive find alternate methods of transportation.

You can also call 1-800-suicide.

If you feel safe that you won't act on your suicidal thoughts, you should still see a live professional. If you can't find a good referral through friends, family, or your doctor, try using the internet or phone book. If you don't have insurance, most communities have a community mental health agency that can help patients.

Depression is best treated holistically. Medications can be helpful for some people. I also recommend 1) psychotherapy with a live therapist, and 2) learning some formal relaxation therapy.

The last 2 treatments I mentioned are proven by sophisticated studies using brain scans (CT, MRI, EEG, pet scans) to improve brain function.

Also, by formal relaxation therapy I mean yoga, meditation, or similar methods. Having relaxing hobbies is also important, but not quite the same as formal relaxation therapy.

And remember you can't separate emotional health from physical health, so exercise & nutrition are vital.

There are also several self-help books you can read which can help including: 1) The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra, 2) The Feeling Good Handbook by David D. Burns; 3) The Relaxation & Stress Reduction Workbook (New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook) by XXXXX XXXXX.

 

Dr. K :

Hi, I'm still here...

Customer:

i do try to keep my self occupied but it does not help, read and listened to discourse by Osho, which does hel some what, but istill cannot get over her

Dr. K :

Have you tried seeing a live therapist? Keep in mind it's very hard to get over a 30year relationship. The good news is that I have seen many people been able to move on after difficult breaks up like this one.

Customer:

yes but they are of no help except putting me on pills

Dr. K :

There is a difference between seeing a live therapist for talk therapy & seeing a doctor for medications.

Dr. K :

If you do see a doctor, you want a well trained psychiatrist.

Customer:

i was seeing a psychiatrist she put me on pills felt drugged all day

Dr. K :

You really need to see a psychologist of social worker for weekly therapy sessions. I would also look for a men's support group. You need to hear from other men who have been in your position how they got through similar situations.

Customer:

wil try that but do you think we can live like frends and i get over the hurt and pain

Dr. K :

I believe in general that people who break up after serious relationships shouldn't really be friends. However, that's not an exact rule. It's possible you can remain friends & live together. On the one hand it seems like a bad idea because how can you get over her if you are seeing her every day. On the other hand, I would be worried about you living along since you are already very depressed & suicidal. Is there any close friends or family you could stay with for a while?

Dr. K :

Also, are you quite ill that you need her to look after you?

Dr. K :

Is she staying out of the goodness of her heart to help you out? Or does she need your financial support?

Dr. K :

Are you still there? I want to keep chatting & try to help...but i can only chat for about 10 more minutes.

Customer:

i have high blood pressure, dabities, prostrate cancer which has spread, and on harmonal therapy my surgery was aborted without removing the prostrate, this month i will start with radiation

Customer:

i was living alone it was she who insisted that i move back into the house so that i could be looked after

Dr. K :

If you have noone else to look after you and can't afford professional in home health care, it may be best to let her help you while you see a live therapist & look for a support group to help you move on and feel better emotionally.

Customer:

can you recommended any men's support group

Customer:

the biggest problem is that when the other guy is in town i get real upset

Dr. K :

It really depends on where you live. I would check the local paper, check with your doctor, call up local hospitals to see what groups they have, and search online.

Dr. K :

Most areas have some kind of organization for aging people that can also help. You could also check with the local department of health & welfare.

Dr. K :

Where do you live?

Customer:

brampton canada

Dr. K :

Here are some links:

Customer:

thanks will do

Dr. K :

I would start with those links & go from there. And please don't rule out individual psychotherapy & relaxation therapy as I mentioned earlier. These are very powerful tools. Good luck & take care. If there's nothing else I can help with, please hit the ACCEPT button to end the chat.

Dr. K and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you