Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.
It sounds like you may have a few different things going on. One, you may have mild social anxiety. Two, you may be introverted in personality. And three, you sound like you have some self esteem issues.
First, social anxiety is a severe anxiety about embarrassing yourself in front of others. Most people with social anxiety go through great lengths to avoid any social situations, particularly if they feel threatened by them. In any situation you feel you might be criticized, judged or watched, you avoid. It is above and beyond the normal nervousness people get in front of others. Here is a link to help you understand social anxiety:
Second, you sound like you might have an introverted personality. An introvert is someone who prefers to avoid social situations in favor of spending time alone. They find socializing very draining and need a lot of time to recuperate when they do socialize. There is nothing wrong with being introverted, it's just a preference.
Third, self esteem issues can interfere with your ability to feel good about yourself. It is the evaluation you give yourself on your own self worth. Most people with self esteem issues learned at one point or another in their lives that they are not as worthwhile as others. It is learned usually from a parent or difficult social situation in childhood.
You may have all of these issues, or just one or two. But either way, resolving these problems is just a matter of determination and a little bit of work on your part. Therapy is a good place to start. But since you have been in therapy and found it not helpful, you may want to consider switching therapists. Try this link to find a new one:
You can also try these resources to help yourself:
The Courage to Be Yourself: A Woman's Guide to Emotional Strength and Self-Esteem by Sue Patton Thoele
Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness: A Self-Help Guide Using Cognitive Behavioral Techniques by GillXXXXX XXXXX
The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World by Marti Olsen Laney
You can find these books on Amazon.com or your local library may have them for you.
I hope this helps,
Thank you so much! I am deeply touched by your feedback and I'm very glad I could help. Let me know anytime if I can be of more assistance.