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Hi! I believe I can be of help with this issue. First, let me say this situation is very difficult and he has been very fortunate to have you there caring about him, taking care of him, and trying to help them figure this out. It is very wonderful of you to be concerned and to be making these efforts. Because clearly he has gotten into a "vicious circle". And this is actually the key to my answer to you that you need to consider and think about. He has created a reality for himself and he keeps reinforcing it. What reality?
That he is worthless, that life is overwhelming, that he can't handle it, that there is no hope, which means that he is worthless, that life is overwhelming, and over and over again. And as long as he continues in this circle, he will not seek help. Because help would mean that he has value, that life is manageable, that he can handle it, and that there is hope. So he has created only one way out: suicide. Because that reinforces the circle.
But you say he refuse to get help. Well, he's an adult and there's nothing that can be done to force him to seek treatment. However, I am now going to voice what I sense you understand within yourself but have not been able to give voice to: XXXXX XXXXX acting as an enabler. You are a kind and good person and so you have attempted to help him. But you see that helping him is only reinforcing the circle. It only allows the circle to continue. And if you would help him forever, he would continue in the circle forever. Because helping him stay dysfunctional does not help. In fact it does the opposite: it HURTS him and his chances of having a good and productive life.
So talking to a minister is a good idea assuming he has a relationship with that minister and the minister would take interest in supervising his transition to other housing. But if not, then you need to give him a deadline by which he needs to leave. A month is about right. he can contact Salvation Army or go with his belongings to a shelter. If he refuses to leave, you need to call the police to evict him as he was a guest who refuses to leave. If you want, you can contact shelters for him and drive him over.
Yes, this is going to be hard. Because it is counterintuitive that being kind can be harmful to someone. But that is the reality. He needs treatment and he won't seek it until he is on his own. Will he make another suicide attempt if you do this?
Possibly. But he has already done that 3-4 times. So if he is looking for an exit, he will choose it regardless. But you have to start living your life in a healthy manner. That must come first.
Okay, again, you are doing a wonderful thing in caring and all the best to you!
Please remember to click the green accept button. Feel free to continue the discussion; my goal is to get you the best answers possible. Bonuses are always appreciated! If I can be of further help with any issue, just put "for Dr. Mark" in the front of your new question, and I'll be the one to answer it. All the best, XXXXX XXXXX