This is not exactly what I was looking for, but I appreciate your effort and have Accepted you answer to allow you to get paid. Telling my brother to see a counselor at this point is not something that he will accept because he does not "see" how abusive she is. He defends her, makes excuses for her, minimizes everything she does, tries to fix her. My husband and I keep telling him but it is going in one ear and going out another. I wanted a source (literature) with a checklist that basically says that the following are serious issues in a relationship that will not go away if he marries her. He needs to see that it is a serious problem before he acts on it.