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Ask Dr. Shirley Schaye Your Own Question
Dr. Shirley Schaye
Dr. Shirley Schaye, Doctor
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1673
Experience:  PhD-Psych; Certif. Psychoanalyst NPAP& NYFS; Memb.APsaA;IPA; Pub.Author; Teach/Supervise Therapy
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Im having trouble ending a relationship. Ive been seperated

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I'm having trouble ending a relationship. I've been seperated from my husband for a year now. I have changed my phone number and cancelled my email account. He some how found out my number and left this message stating he didn't want to get a divorce and that he was willing to go to counseling. I fall for this again..and get back with him and by this I mean we have to meet at a hotel because there is another woman living in the home. He keeps txting me and I keep responding. I know that this woman he is living with is not the only one he is seeing. I feel like part of his harem and I want to end it completely. I never contact him first he always starts but I respond. I can't fiqure out why I am so willing to give myself and trust to someone who is such a player. I just want to feel normal again
Thank you for contacting Just Answer. I am so very sorry to hear about the problems you are experiencing. It's easier said than done what you need to do. It's VERY CLEAR that as long as there are other women in the picture you need to tell him that you are absolutely not interested in making any attempts to be back together. You need to tell him that you don't care one iota that he is willing to go to counseling to work on your relationship issues. You need to say that going for counseling means absolutely nothing as long as he is seeing other women. Then, to say, PLEASE DO NOT CONTACT ME unless you are NOT SEEING ANY OTHER WOMEN. I WILL NOT CONSIDER a reconcilliation while you have other women in your life.

If you feel you can do it on your own --- then by all means do. You could always contact me --- Dr. Shirley Schaye --- by putting my name in your request for further support.

Now if you feel that is too hard for you to do then you should see a therapist to help you do this. I could help you find someone with the right kind of training since the counseling you previously had did not help. It's best to have someone who has postgraduate education in psychoanalytic/psychodynamic psychotherapy. If you give me your city, state and zip code, I'll help you find someone.

I'll pause here and await your response.
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