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Ask Dr. Shirley Schaye Your Own Question
Dr. Shirley Schaye
Dr. Shirley Schaye, Doctor
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1673
Experience:  PhD-Psych; Certif. Psychoanalyst NPAP& NYFS; Memb.APsaA;IPA; Pub.Author; Teach/Supervise Therapy
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Hi, I am having a serious problem with my girlfriend. Every

Customer Question

Hi, I am having a serious problem with my girlfriend. Every time I get drunk I end up abusing her, calling her names and putting her down. I have had girlfriends before and this has never happened. My friends think it has something to do with been insecure in the relationship, can you help me, I love her loads and can't lose her.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Shirley Schaye replied 5 years ago.
Thank you for contacting Just Answer. I am sorry to hear about what is going on. The answer is very clear. Listen to yourself. I'm going to quote you. " Every time I get drunk I end up abusing her, calling her names and putting her down." --- the answer is pretty simple --- STOP getting Drunk. Try counting how much you are drinking--- stop at the point where you know you lose control.
So now the other issue --- your friends say that they think that it has something to do with being insecure in this relationship. What about that? Do you think that's so? Are you able to elaborate more on this issue?

I'll pause here and await your response.
Dr. Shirley Schaye and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Yes I am a bit insecure. I don't no I have had girlfriends but I never had so much to lose. I really fell for this girl and with the other girls I kinda always assumed it would end. I don't no why I feel like this because she is a great girlfriend to me, but sometimes I get the feeling that she could either take me or leave me. I don't no, like for example we live quite close to each other but I always end up calling over to her. Even if its just for a visit to go home again after while she never visits me, and I did suggest her calling over a little more but she said either I come over or she'l see me tomorrow. Like its always on her terms, everything is, what we eat, where we go, even our sex life. I just feel like I have no say or something. I usually answer the phone when she is out and rings me drunk yet she makes it her business to warn me not to ring her when i'm out and she isn't. But then again I don't blame her seen as I usually just abuse her.

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