Okay thanks for the additional information. I'm glad to hear that he is not physically abusive or threatening to hurt you in that way. However, the mental abuse is of course damaging to you and does affect your self-esteem etc. He is not doing anything to change and it's immature emotionally to say that he is not accountable since you broke up with him. Obviously if he wants to be in a relationship with you, then you are both accountable and need to work on improving and making the relationship a priority.
Completely ignoring both Valentine's day and your birthday is XXXXX selfish and either he is intentionally wanting to hurt you, or is to self-absorbed to think of you. Either the way, the result is the same, in that you are miserable.
What I would recommend is that you ask him to move out. It's really hard to break up with someone, when they live with you. So, I would ask him to move out and then get some counseling and work on yourself, as to why you feel guilty and bad for being the one to break up. He may not be the one who "breaks up" but he is not there for you, when you are supposedly back together, so really what is the difference.
You really need to address where this guilt comes from when you stand up for yourself and break things off. Allowing him to come back, when he hasn't made any changes, only enables him to continue behaving the way he does, and so the cycle continues.
I would seek out some counseling for yourself and start working on this guilt issue. It probably goes deeper than just this current situation and current boyfriend. You know that you aren't happy like this and want someone who will treat you with respect and be a true partner, so don't allow those temporary feelings of guilt get you off track and continue this cycle. Keep the big picture in mind and stay focused on what you really want... Please click ACCEPT button for this answer. Feel free to continue the conversation even after clicking accept. Thank you.