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Anna, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1945
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 29 years in addictions and mental health.
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We live in Illinois and he is a senior in high school. He was

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We live in Illinois and he is a senior in high school. He was always high honor student, very ambitious, and now we don't even know if he is going to graduate. How can I help him when he doesn't wont any help,claims everybody smokes pot and he likes it. His girlfriend told me he took Xanax the other day and she is also worried. He became very vulgar as well. I'm at the end of the rope, would of kick him out for the things he does or says, but I'm just waiting so he graduates, i don't know if thats the right thing to do, I do want to keep a relationship with him, but he causes so much chaos and drama in the house, that all of us just can't take it anymore, including his 14 year old brother.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Anna replied 6 years ago.
Hello & Welcome to Just Answers.

This might not be the officially correct thing to say, but I would do whatever it takes to get him graduated. It makes a big difference in the long term, and he's so close right now. He may have a drug problem, he may be developing a drug problem, or he may have any number of things going on....but all of those things will still be there in a month.

You can get help and support for yourself and your family by seeing a counselor...they can help you map out a plan with the resources in your area. You can use this time to get yourself situated and informed/supported so that when you confront him and set limits, you'll have a viable plan.

You can also attend free peer programs like Al-Anon, Nar-Anon and Families Anonymous to talk with people who've been in your situation. Those programs, websites and even simple literature help thousands of families get through situations like the one you're in right now. "kicking him out" is much harder to do than most people imagine, and it isn't a one-time ordeal. You may have to do that, and support for your efforts will make it a more realistic event for everyone involved.

You're in a tough spot right now, but I think you'll be in one for quite some time as you wade through his transition to adulthood (or his resistance to it). Support for yourself is the most valuable place to spend your energy right now.

My best to you
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