Hello tpt & Welcome to Just Answers.
I imagine that she is thinking of you, him, her children, her family, her life, and anything else that this situation has thrown up in the air. She's probably scared to death that she's ruined everything permanently. But.................she won't stay in the panic state forever, and when the time comes for her to really look at her life, she won't be able to just forget the love and joy that you've shared together.
Will her marriage work? No telling, but it didn't sound like it was working very well to start with. People do buckle down and settle for very little, though.You would probably know better than anyone if she's that type.
Relationships aren't like doors: she can't just shut you out. Your history together is real. The feelings and experiences are real and they'll be a part of both of you forever. I wish you the best of luck in this - you're in a very difficult situation.