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Anna
Anna, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1945
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 29 years in addictions and mental health.
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I am obsessing over something that happened about 30 years

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I am obsessing over something that happened about 30 years ago. I think I was about 13 years old. I was at a friend's house. He had a younger sister, I don't know how old she was--maybe 6. I was tickling her on the couch, when her dress rode up and I saw her underwear (crotch region) momentarily. My memory of this is vague, but I think I felt titillated. I worry that I might have even tried to see her underwear. Now I know that I am not a pedophile, but this scenario sickens me, and makes me feel like I did something wrong. I try to tell myself that it was just a normal adolescent's curiosity about the opposite sex, and not deviant behavior. What do you think?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Anna replied 5 years ago.

Hello & Welcome to Just Answers.

I agree with you that it sounds perfectly normal. What is interesting is the importance you're placing on the memory, and the emotional impact it has on you.

It might help you to look at it from the outside...most (if not all) boys and girls of that age are intensely curious about the opposite sex, and lots of them will do a bit of peeking around a time or two. 99.9% of the time, nothing comes from this, but the high emotions of the moment & fear of getting caught, and new discoveries mark the memory as an important one.

I would suggest that you let it go. At 44 years old, your identity should be pretty known to you - trust that.

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