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Anna
Anna, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1945
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 29 years in addictions and mental health.
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If someone is in a long term relationship with a sociopath/narcissist,

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If someone is in a long term relationship with a sociopath/narcissist, could that person (the person who is NOT a sociopath/narcissist) appear to be inflexible, with low self esteem, overly sensitive, dramatic, maybe borderline personality disorder him/herself?

Anna :

HelloCustomer& Welcome to Just Answers.

Anna :

Anyone can end up in a relationship with a sociopath and or narcissist - there isn't really a personality type that matches that problem if they're the kind that can pass in public. But...and this is a big one, the battle fatigue that one endures during a long term relationship will most likely show itself in the symptoms you mentioned. All except Borderline Personality disorder - that one is a distict issue in itself.

Anna :

If you ask the sociopath if the partner has those symptoms, they may well say they do - it would soften the victim up for another manipulation.

Customer:

But, can the victim APPEAR to have Borderline Personality Disorder, not actually have it, but might appear due to the symptoms of dealing with the sociopath?

Anna :

Absolutely. I remember your divorce case and all the intense pathology - if you're wondering if you could appear to mimic BPD when dealing with him, I say absolutely yes. But it doesn't mean you have it. You would have to have those symptoms for a long time and it would be pervasive in all your relationships, not just with him.

Anna :

Does that make sense to you? A sociopath/narcissist will bring out all kinds of odd behaviors in another person, and then play them against the victim.

Customer:

That is EXACTLY what I thought, I just wanted to get your opinion instead of me spouting it to myself without the expertise to back it up. This is a very, very disturbed person. He has taken psychological tests that show he is a sociopath (MMPI) and has NPD (MCMI). His side is trying to imply that I have BPD, when in fact my feelings and symptoms are just a response to dealing with him for 15 years.

Customer:

Thank you so much for being there for me. It helps tremendously.

Anna :

Accusing a spouse of BPD is just part of the crazy-making that goes on with these guys. You might have PTSD from dealing with him, but throwing out BPD is just another way to make you feel unbalanced.

Anna :

I'm glad that I could help you out.....keep reality checking with others when you feel yourself falling under his spell - guys like that are like magicians.

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