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TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5784
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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I am a 61 year young woman taking care of her 92 year old mother. In the begining things

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I am a 61 year young woman taking care of her 92 year old mother. In the begining things were wonderful. But lately as she becomes more and more dependant on me (pay her bills, do her taxes, cook meals, bathe her, make sure she takes her medications, find etertainment (she is legally blind), shop, arrange outings she can do, find friends to come and spend time for her, try and get some time for myself. All of this has become very stressful and truthfully, I;m not doing such a great job at the moment. I love and adore her, but when it is necessary to follow thru with doctors and therapist recomdations she fights me. This is a woman who had never raised her voice in her life. Also, she thinks she can see, hear, and do more that she is capable. I am always worried she will hurt herself and end back in a nursing home. She would hate that. Last year she had two very bad illnesses. First she fell and broke her hip. Once it was repaired she was in a nursing home for 3 to 4 months.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  TherapistMarryAnn replied 5 years ago.

Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.


It sounds like you are experiencing caregiver burnout, a very common problem for people who care for a disabled or elderly person. Between the worry, the work and the need for constant attention, it is easy to see why you would experience this problem. In caring for your elderly mother, you get no breaks. Being the sole source of support for someone is draining and difficult.


There are many resources you can rely on to help. Is there a Department of Aging near you? If so, contact them about what services they can offer you. You can get Meals on Wheels, ACCESS transportation, help in the home with cleaning and shopping and many other services. They may also be able to provide someone to stay with your mother while you take a break. Some Dept of Aging agencies also have a caregivers program that offer income for you to help you care for your mother in the home. Depending on the size and funding of your local aging office, they may offer this as well.


Can your mother attend a senior center program? You may be able to have her stay there while you work. The Dept. of Aging will be able to help you find one close to you.


There are also many support groups available. Here is a link to help you find one. Within the help guide, there are many links to more resources as well.


Your mother's doctor may also be another resource to help you. Ask her doctor what services are available in your area to help you care for your mother.


I hope this has helped you,

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