Here is a question: if you are married and the spouse says "that
is not going to happen", referring to an event you hoped you would
experience as a person socially, which is like they have no hope
of it, then do not attempt to try to find out how it might happen,
and you can't think to ask them how it might happen, until two
days later, but you are normal, isn't that a bit inefficient? Is that
a normal marriage? How much must we give up for security?
The other people I can talk to who are considerate have nothing
going on financially, so how good could that be? I do not think
they really checked it out, either...