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Ask TherapistMarryAnn Your Own Question
TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5762
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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Would you be concerned if you had the finances to do things

Customer Question

Would you be concerned if you had the finances to do things but not
the time? How concerned?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  TherapistMarryAnn replied 5 years ago.

Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.


It depends a lot on how burned out I feel. If you have the funds to go on vacation, for example, but your job would not let you, then you would have to worry about how you would react to that. Most people need a break from their daily lives. To take no break means that they work most of the time. And that means burn out. They become irritable, make poor choices (use too much alcohol, etc), and their relationships suffer. There also has been research that showed people who did not take a break from work did not perform as well and productivity fell.


There are some people who find their work to be so enjoyable they do not feel the need to take a break. Although they are few and far between, they do exist. For them, a break is not needed.


Psychologically, it is very concerning when someone does not have the time to take a break. The opportunity for a break down increases with time without time to recharge.


If this is the case for you, then it is important to try to make the time to take a break, even if it's only a day or two. Even a small break makes a big difference.


I hope this has helped you,


Customer: replied 5 years ago.

OK, and the question should have read: Would you be concerned if someone

had the finances to do things but not the time? How concerned? Does this

change your answer ? If so, then thanks. I would like to know that. Say you

have the money but no time, what if it is not enough time to wash your car or to hire

some help? When are you concerned, mostly at the two day break phase, or

is it or can it be smaller than that, rather lesser than that?

Expert:  TherapistMarryAnn replied 5 years ago.

It doesn't really change the answer, since the circumstances would stay the same. Anyone who has the finances but not the time is going to be in the same situation regardless of who they are or their life circumstances. People generally react the same to that kind of situation, with the exception of the people who enjoy the work they do, as I noted.


Yes, the break can be less. It is a matter of taking some kind of break. Even a small day trip or an afternoon doing something enjoyable can help. A longer break is preferable, but if a small break is the only option, then it's better than nothing.


Not enough time to hire help or to wash a car sounds like a person who is way too busy. They really should rethink how they live. Being that busy starts to interfere with living and that is not healthy, physically or emotionally.



Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Thank you , and: What can you do about time, is it up

to you, and what symptoms does stress from that cause?

Own less cars? Limit trips to the store? Have less possessions

and entertain less? Let others entertain?

Expert:  TherapistMarryAnn replied 5 years ago.

You're welcome! Glad I could help.


Yes, it is a balance between money and time. If you have to spend all your time earning money, it is worth it if you cannot enjoy it? Some people have decided that it is not, and have given up large income jobs for a simpler life. But it is an individual choice. What a person gives up in exchange for less work depends on the person and what they are sacrificing for the increased salary.


Stress can cause many different symptoms from headaches to anxiety attacks. Some people become irritable and some drink alcohol to cope. It all depends on the person, their personality and what type of stress it is. It also makes a big difference in what kinds of support they have available and if they take advantage of that support.



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Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Here is a question: if you are married and the spouse says "that

is not going to happen", referring to an event you hoped you would

experience as a person socially, which is like they have no hope

of it, then do not attempt to try to find out how it might happen,

and you can't think to ask them how it might happen, until two

days later, but you are normal, isn't that a bit inefficient? Is that

a normal marriage? How much must we give up for security?

The other people I can talk to who are considerate have nothing

going on financially, so how good could that be? I do not think

they really checked it out, either...

Expert:  TherapistMarryAnn replied 5 years ago.

Can you give me a bit more information on what type of situation you are referring to? What kind of security do you mean? Security in a marriage? And what kind of people are you referring to who do not have anything going on financially? Do you mean middle class people or people who do not have financial problems?



Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Security as I am referring to it, would be freedom from risks or many

people I think do have financial problems, what do you think of the middle

class (is it secure because of the numbers)?

Expert:  TherapistMarryAnn replied 5 years ago.

It is always a balance between security and taking enough risks to make your life worth living. Each individual has to find that level themselves, taking in account their own circumstances such as financial, family, personal feelings and goals. There is no way to guarantee total freedom from risks or harm since almost any type of situation can have it's own risks and benefits.


Referring to your original post, if your spouse tells you that you cannot do something just based on their own feelings, then I would say it is a selfish statement. Whether or not you respond to it depends on your own balance of the risks (marital trouble) or benefits (it's something that would bring you fulfillment).


The middle class is no more secure or less secure than other classes of people. Each person finds their own security in what they expect out of life and how they balance what they have. For example, a person who is well off and spends their money may have less financial stability than someone who is middle class who saves their money or invests it. It's all a matter of personal choice.


I hope this helps you,

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