How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Kristin Your Own Question

Kristin
Kristin, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 453
Experience:  Licensed Mental Health Counselor. 11+ years specialist in mental health. Expertise and insight!
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Kristin is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

How do i deal with a abusive teenager who swears,shouts and

Resolved Question:

How do i deal with a abusive teenager who swears,shouts and stays out all night against my wishes she is still at school and 16 years old.She also has stolen money in the past and used my debit card for a mobile phone credit i now lock everything in a safe.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kristin replied 3 years ago.

Hello and thank you for your question.

 

How long has your daughter been behaving this way? Do you think that she is perhaps using drugs or alcohol as well? Was there anything that triggered these behaviors in her?

Customer: replied 3 years ago.
She began stwaling money around 2 years ago for her phone. The agressive abuse is only recent i dont think drugs are involved she split up with her boyfriend in dec after having a surgical abortion she wanted this and she is having counselling also but her behaviour in the home is becoming worse
Expert:  Kristin replied 3 years ago.

okay thank you for the additional information. What I would really recommend you do at this point, is consult a psychiatrist, who is a m.d. level clinician. I suggest that as the behaviors are quite severe and aggressive, and there could be an underlying reason for these behaviors that may need more attention than behavioral counseling.

I would not hesitate in contacting a psychiatrist in your area who specializes in conduct disorders or adolescent issues and have your daughter thoroughly assessed by the psychiatrist.

Also, keep open communication with your daughter and let her know you are on her side, while also continuing to enforce those boundaries (like you have been doing) and making sure there are consequences to her behaviors. You will need support and a comprehensive approach to dealing with her behaviors, such as the counseling, psychiatrist, and clear boundaries at home. Often teens feel like their lives are always going to be the way the feel in the moment, so do remind her, that things will get better than how she may feel now. Also, be aware of who she is spending time with (as far as friends go) as that can have a huge influence on her behavior and attitudes as well. Please click ACCEPT button so I'm credited for my help today. Feel free to continue discussion with me even after clicking accept. Thank you.

Customer: replied 3 years ago.
What should the consequences be for staying out all night and not coming home, i dont know where to start with the boundaries, and she constantly says she wants to leave home
Expert:  Kristin replied 3 years ago.

The boundaries for staying out all night and not coming home, could be that she is not permitted to going out in the evening with her friends, until she can understand how serious this behavior is. She needs to know that it's dangerous and also that you are extremely concerned when she does not come home at all. That behavior is completely inappropriate and is not safe. I would recommend that she therefore does not go out, with her friends for atleast 2 weeks. If she cannot realize or demonstrate accountability, then she will just have to stay home at night.

The boundary or consequence matches the misbehavior. You can't allow her to get the upperhand by threatening to run away, etc. So, demonstrate that you care about her and love her, and this is why you must enforce these boundaries so she can learn from her mistakes and keep herself out of harm's way, etc. Setting these boundaries are things you could work on with her, in family counseling sessions as well. Maybe you could schedule some time to see your daughter with her counselor and discuss these issues and set the boundaries along with the counselor's input. Please click ACCEPT. and feel free to respond further. thank you

Kristin, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 453
Experience: Licensed Mental Health Counselor. 11+ years specialist in mental health. Expertise and insight!
Kristin and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
If i tell her that she is not allowed to go out she does, if i forcibly try to stop her she has fought with me.If i lock the doors she climbs out of the window
Expert:  Kristin replied 3 years ago.

So she is very defiant of you obviously. This is why I really recommend that you take her to see a psychiatrist who can accurately assess and diagnose what is going on with your daughter. I really recommend also that you set up an appointment with her counselor asap and request that you go as well, and address these issues. You need more support than you are currently receiving.

 

Kristin, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 453
Experience: Licensed Mental Health Counselor. 11+ years specialist in mental health. Expertise and insight!
Kristin and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
< Last | Next >
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
  • I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well! Claudia Albuquerque, NM
  • Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion. Kevin Beaverton, OR
  • Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
    I feel better already! Thank you.
    Elanor Tracy, CA
  • Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem. Julie Lockesburg, AR
  • You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions. John and Stefanie Tucson, AZ
  • I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!! Janet V Phoenix, AZ
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dr. Keane's Avatar

    Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/Dr.Keane/2013-8-20_204325_drkeane.64x64.jpg Dr. Keane's Avatar

    Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    5024
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC's Avatar

    Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    3733
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/DrAkiraOlsen/2012-2-20_746_AkiraADpicmain.64x64.jpg Dr. Olsen's Avatar

    Dr. Olsen

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2336
    PsyD Psychologist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg Norman M.'s Avatar

    Norman M.

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2193
    UK trained in hypnotherapy, counselling and psychotherapy and have been in private practice. ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), UKCP Registered and ECP.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/PsychologyProf/2010-07-15_171248_logos060400409.jpg Dr. Michael's Avatar

    Dr. Michael

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2177
    Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KURTEMMERLING/2010-07-23_215531_just_ask_picture1.jpg Steven Olsen's Avatar

    Steven Olsen

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1727
    More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education