Welcome, I am a professional counselor, Behavioral-Consultant and relationship expert.
Do you mind telling me in a little bit more detail about the specific behaviors of concern your experiencing?
i seem to double check everything and i dont trust anyone anymore
also i wont throw anything away
What kind of therapy did you do? Are you still attending?
i did 1 year with a psycologist and he said that i was cured, i feel worse not better, its so hard to get anyone to listen and tell me why i ended up like this
This must be incredibly difficult for you. I am so sorry to hear that you are suffering like this. How have you been feeling lately?
aweful, i dont get off the couch, lately i wont eat or have a shower it all started when i had my son i had 38 hours labour and then a lvcs, they couldnt wake me for 2 days and i couldnt bond with my son
When you say that you don't trust people, what do you mean?
i dont have any friends anymore as in the past they have taken advantage of me and the last straw was when my husband run off with my best friend
That must have been very difficult for you. What about social support from family?
no i dont have that, im the youngest of 8 kids and despite holding a uni degree i have always been called a failure, they wouldnt even see me when my son was born as i couldnt even have a baby properly
Have you been provided with any formal medical and/or psychiatric diagnosis?
no, i wish some one would tell me what was wrong with me and where the woman i used to be went, and help me get better
What are your appetite and sleep patterns like?
i dont eat anymore, havent for a few months i just drink milk, i sleep for a couple of hours here and there but not all night, i cant get stuff out of my head to go to sleep
Alright. I think the priority here has to be to get proper help. Answering your question about why and how you got to where you are right now is very difficult and would involve a hours of clinical interviewing. It may be that you are experiencing clinical depression, which was initiated post-postpartum.....
I think you need to 1) get to a medical Dr. right away and get a full medical examination to rule out physical/medical contributing factors to your current condition. 2) you need to get proper psychological help.....
ok so how do i get a doctor to listen to me and not just fob me off?
I'm just going to finish my answer....and then address additional question you may have, if that's ok. I would recommend Cognitive Behavioral Therapy with therapist with advanced training and experience. I think a strong behavioral component to the therapy will be critical for you to really get you active again, and to systematically address the thoughts feeling and actions that get in the way of moving forward.....
This is what I mean by CBT:
The CBT therapy should have a very strong behavioral or "activation component" :
What I've recommended medically is that you get a full physical to rule out or become aware of medical contributors to your current behavioral/psychological condition. Are you saying a medical doctor will refuse to give you a physical as part of an evidence-based intervention? You may want to find and work with a CBT therapist and then go to the Doctors with the therapists direction.
the local doctor says im fine, the next doctor is over 100kms away, i cant see anyone without a gps letter, thats the australian rules
Has the medical doctor conducted a full recent physical examination with blood work to back up the claim that your fine?
no, he just takes my bp and gives me 100 20mg oxycodone tabs for my headaches
Is he/she aware that your you barely sleep and that your basic diet is milk?
yes he is, he says that it could be the start of menopause and not to worry
Wow. I would get to a CBT therapist. Have you had a moment to read the link I sent you on CBT?
no not yet but i will once i finish talking to you, i get brain overload and get confused if i try to take too much in at once
Ok, that is fully understandable.
I hope you understand my concern here for your health and well-being. Once you get the proper help you need and are functioning properly again, you can reconstruct why you got to where you were. You will probably learn a great deal in a short period of time through CBT as well. My worry is that you not pre-occupy your self with depressing thoughts about the past, but that you start to have positive thoughts and actions for the future. Once you read the links I sent you, I think you will better understand my approach here.
A CBT therapist will also help you to develop strategies for getting healthy spiritual, social and emotional support as well.
I see that you've gone off line. I'll check back periodically for your response.
thank you, XXXXX XXXXX have told me has helped greatly, i now know where to start on my journey to wellness, i will let you know how i go and i will also keep asking questions, again thank you