Ask a Psychiatrist and Get Answers to Mental Health Questions ASAP
Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.
I agree with you, stop these sessions immediately. The therapist may have 30 years experience, but all that means is that she should know better than to allow a possible narcissist draw her in. But it happens sometimes. Therapist sometimes don't see it or they have their own unresolved issues that get in the way of seeing a situation clearly. It sounds like this is what has happened in your case.
There is no way any therapist should use a tactic of getting on a person's good side to help them in therapy. The damage she is doing to you is proof that this would be a wrong technique to use. The therapist should be empathetic and understanding to both of you and provide a balanced and neutral point of view in all things she suggests or helps you with. The idea is that she is there to provide guidance and nothing else. She is to let the two of you work out the issues with only minimal help from her. That does not sound like what is going on here.
It is up to you as to whether or not you say something about the sessions to her. You need to weigh whether or not you feel the consequences would hurt you more than the voicing of your frustrations would help you. Either way, it is unfortunate that you are having to feel it is them against you. You should never be put in a situation such as this one in a vulnerable place like therapy.
If you decide to find a new therapist, asking for a referral would help reduce the chances of you having another bad experience. Try talking with your personal doctor about a referral. Or if you attend church, talk with your pastor. They often know good therapists or can help you themselves. You can also search on line at http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/. Here is a guide to finding a good therapist:
Don't be deterred by your bad experience. There are many good therapists out there who can help you recover from the abuse you suffered. It's just a matter of finding the one therapist you feel you can work with and who stands by the standards the profession demands. Keep trying, you will get there.
If I can help in any other way, please let me know.
I hope this has helped you,Kate