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Arundhati
Arundhati, Counselor & Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 259
Experience:  Licensed psychotherapist, Published Wellness Author
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I realized something - when things are going well, I still

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I realized something - when things are going well, I still go looking for faults, as if I'm looking for ways to make things fail. Why is this? And how can I remedy this?
Hello,

Thank you for writing in to Just Answer.

It sounds like you may be experiencing "anticipatory anxiety" where you want to preemptively worry about possible things that can go wrong so that nothing can catch you by surprise. It is a coping skill and while some of it is healthy when we start to overdo it, it becomes unhealthy for us.

In order to remedy this, the best approach would be to consult with a therapist in order to identify the thought patterns that lead you to think in this way. Also, a therapist will be able to work with you to provide you with tools and techniques to keep your anxiety at a minimum thus enabling you to enjoy the present moment without unnecessary hypothesizing about the future.

I hope this was helpful.

Please let me know if you have questions/thoughts/reactions to what I wrote above.

Kind Regards,

Arundhati
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Well... it's great to be able to put a possible name to this, however, I'm really looking for some tools and tips. We have covered this in therapy at some point, and I am fully aware of when I am experiencing this anxiety. To an extent, I also accept it. My follow-up question has to do more with what can I do to reduce it?
Hello,

Thank you for your reply.

A couple of things are important - 1) observing your self-talk and then consciously replacing it with positive self-talk

2) Understanding what kind of events trigger more of this tendency to worry and uncovering if there are any latent fears/uncovered issues that are leading to this excessive anxiety

3) Practicing the techniques of mindfulness (i.e. developing greater consciousness) and utilizing "observation" to address the anxiety. This is explained in this very useful workbook.

Finally, working with your therapist on a goal plan where both of you will mutually agree to parameters to measure if your anxiety is decreasing on a week by week basis will also be helpful in monitoring progress.

Please let me know if you have additional questions.

Kind regards,

Arundhati
Arundhati, Counselor & Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 259
Experience: Licensed psychotherapist, Published Wellness Author
Arundhati and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
HI I just received an email requesting a reply. Before I give you some techniques and tips, I have a few questions regarding your current thoughts and anxiety. When do you have these thoughts and feelings. Can you give me an example or situations that typically lead you to these thoughts and feelings? After your reply, I would be able to give you my recommendations. Thanks.
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Hi Brad, I will create a new question for you to answer if that's all right so I can credit another therapist for her help.
Thank you so much for accepting.

Kind Regards,

Arundhati