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Brad The Therapist
Brad The Therapist, LCPC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 549
Experience:  10 years of experience in working with youth and adults
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i like this boy so much that i cant stop myself for having

Resolved Question:

i like this boy so much that i cant stop myself for having sex with him even when i clearly know that i should not. i keep telling myself that in a couple of weeks i shall no longer see him and that i would not have to go through the pain of liking someone i cant have. is it ok to keep having sex with him since a part of me wants to or should i just try and walk away now. this whole thing is making me doubt if i am mentally ok and i just thought i should seek some help. When i started having sex with him he had a girlfriend and now he is seeing my friend...I really need help
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Brad The Therapist replied 3 years ago.

Brad The Therapist :

Thank you for your question. I empathize with your current situation. I have a few questions regarding your relationship. Do you feel that he is using you for sex or do you feel you are fulfilling a need that he has that is not being fulfilled from his girlfriend?

Customer:

well i know that his current girlfriend is not sleeping with him. so it is possible that i am fulfilling that need. but at the same time i do enjoy having sex with him. i think i am just a little upset that i cant get the emotional part of the relationship as well. but yea answering your question, i think we are both using each other

Brad The Therapist :

Although you are using each other at this point, I have a feeling that you want more in your relationship.

Customer:

sometimes i feel so but the truth is that in a couple of weeks we are actually not going to see eachother and when i think of that i know it is totally pointless trying to get anything more from the relationship. a part of me thinks that i might just be jealous of the fact that i can never be more than sex to him

Brad The Therapist :

Very insightful. At this point, do you feel you want to continue the relationship you have now? You also said that he is dating your friend as well. How does this fact affect your decision?

Customer:

well he said that even though he is seeing my friend, they do not seem to be going that far as she is not really comfortable with the fact that we had a history together. for this simple fact alone, i do not feel guilty having sex with him. however if things do change in a few days, i would definitely back down because i think it is totally wrong to do that to a friend. i do admit that my morals seem a bit shaky right now but i do feel that having sex at least gives me the opportunity to get over some of the feelings i have for him

Brad The Therapist :

It seems you have decided what you want to do with this relationship. Do you have any other questions?

Customer:

would you think that having sex can make my feelings for him increase rather than reduce

Brad The Therapist :

That is possible because you are relating and sharing an experience with him which my increase your feelings for him. However, you determined that you may want to share your feeling to him and find out why he does not pursue a relationship with you.

Customer:

sorry i dont quite get that . are you suggesting that i ask him why he doesnt want to pursue a relationship with me?

Brad The Therapist :

You said that you were not interested in pursing a relationship with him because you were not going to see him in a few weeks anymore. You also mentioned that you were going to get over your feelings by having sex with him, but afraid that this might increase your feelings for him. My suggestion for you is that if your feelings do, indeed, increase, you may want to ask him why he does not want to pursue a relationship with you to either obtain closure.

Customer:

ok. thank you very much. i am glad i got a good male perspective. you have been really great. thanks again..

Brad The Therapist :

Good luck. I hope you consider pressing the "accept " button if you found this useful.

Customer:

oh sure i will

Brad The Therapist, LCPC
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 549
Experience: 10 years of experience in working with youth and adults
Brad The Therapist and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

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