*he is 22.
*he has seen two therapists. the first one was only two or three visits then a six month break and the second one was four or five visits.
*the only thing my son told me about his therapy sessions is that the therapist wanted him to try to get out of the house at least once a day. i never pryed because i didn't want to sabbatoge his effort at going..... plus, unfortunately, he is a complete pathalogical liar - honest to God, he would swear the sky was green if it meant he didn't have to go out.
*i'm afraid to unplug the computer because at this point it is his only "human" contact. the game is one of those global games where he plays with a group of about 20 players....those are his only "friends". it scares me to death to take it completely away because in the past six months he has had three total meltdowns (crying uncontrollablly about not being able to "fix" himself", shaking, talking non-sense, and saying things that maybe it would be better if he just wasn't here anymore). I have already buried one son and i know i wouldn't survive doing that again.... so i guess in a sense i have been enabling him.
*i tried to implement a "chore" list at the beginning of the year. it lasted one month and then he just stopped.... however, that one month was like pulling teeth to get him to cook one night a week, do his own laundry, and clean his own bathroom. right now, i couldn't honestly tell you when the last time it was that he changed his clothes, brushed his teeth, or took a shower.
*our primary care physician started him on zoloft (i think), now he is on effexor and lorazapam (?)
*also, he has severe insomnia
. he says that when he tries to go to sleep, he can't get his mind to shut down so he can't get to sleep.
*just a side note - so you know - he knows something is wrong. he knows he has severe anxiety and is depressed, but he is frustrated that we can't find a way to fix this. he lost a scholorship to college (he was going to be the first in our family to go to college), he has lost two jobs, and his girlfriend over all of this. he desperatly wants help, we just don't know where and how to get it. this is a person who took the SAT in 7th grade and scored higher than most graduating seniors that year. he is extremely intelligent and i think that makes it much worse for him because he thinks he shuold be able to fix it or find the right person/place to fix it.
*looking back, i believe there were early signs of this behavior when he was a sophmore in highschool. i hate myself for not seeing the signs before jan 2010. maybe is we had sought help while he was in high school there would have been more resources available because when we look up treatment centers, there are centers for drugs, alcohol, and depression, but we haven't found one that will help specifically with his anxiety and overall self loathing.