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First you have to find a way to protect yourself. Here we have restraining orders but I don't know about your location. Whatever route you take you must take one. There is always a way to protect yourself.
In regard to his treatment of you, I think you know that everything including the emails is part of his abuse. The number one factors in defining abuse is emotional or physical control over the partner. Also is paranoia and erratic behavior. He has all of these. He appears most dangerous and you have to treat it as such. Any way you can. This is alarming; not amusing. Find a way to separate yourself 24/7 and to physically keep your distance. if there are details to work out do that with a lawyer or trust person. Don't wait until it's too late. If you feel you are in such danger you are. This isn't you being crazy. This is about a potential stalker. Cut all ties!
Thank you for your reply. This was a 'normal' guy who lost his business, his marriage etc and has become so bitter with the world - can that really make him dangerous or just desperate? he is particulary obsessed with his hatred for my daughter too who has a strong personality and is sure that he is influencing all my decisons.
i have written to his family but I suspect he has done a fairly good job of behaving 'normally' to them. I hve suspected that he has some kind of persona;lity disorder as he can suddenly 'turn'. His eyes take on a certain look - its hard to explain but even my children have noticed it. And he will never take no for an answer or accept anyone elses point of view.