Hi! I believe I can be of help with this issue. First, let me say I can imagine how confusing and distressing this situation must be for you. You are clearly a caring and loving husband and you feel like you have been blindsided by something and you're not sure what it is. Your wife has changed emotionally in unpredictable ways. You are correct to be concerned that her situation might become more unpredictable and she could do things that may be hard to reverse in her life. And this is actually the key to my answer to you that you need to consider and think about. That you love your wife is the first and most important tool we have. But it is only a tool. We have to find some way to use it. Why?
Because one of two things is most likely happening to your wife. You are correct that one of them may be the onset of Bipolar Disorder (BD). Why now?
The number one cause on the radar screen is actually the second likely thing that your wife might be undergoing. She may be having a major morbidity reaction to the miscarriage. A study about 4 years ago found that 50% of women who miscarry have some serious problem requiring treatment. Most often it is an anxiety or major depressive disorder and grief.
So it is possible that this is the problem. Or it is possible that the grief and shock and attendant psychological morbidity of the miscarriage triggered the onset of BD. BD in adults is very often triggered by some event that is psychologically devastating and anxiety provoking. So what to do?
If at all possible, I want you to print out my answer and take it with her to a Starbucks or other quiet place and discuss it. She is an adult and she has to make her own decisions. You can only pray for her.
So, present these possibilities that I am putting forth. Depending on where she is in her processing of the miscarriage, she will be either willing to consider that she needs help or not. And that the help is in two areas: psychological and spiritual. She cannot deny either one. To deny that she needs psychological help will make the spiritual attempt that she is struggling with to understand her life and what she wants unworthy of an answer. Why?
Because she will not be healthy enough to understand G-d's answers clearly. So, you must propose to her this opportunity to get help and then ask her to talk and you listen.
I wish you the very best!
Please remember to click the green accept button. Feel free to continue the discussion; my goal is to get you the best answers possible. Bonuses are always appreciated! If I can be of further help with any issue, just put "for Dr. Mark" in the front of your new question, and I'll be the one to answer it. All the best, XXXXX XXXXX