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Steven Olsen
Steven Olsen, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1764
Experience:  More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
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hi steve - this is a question for steve olsen well my husband

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hi steve - this is a question for steve olsen well my husband called he got his evaluation and it was not good. he didnt get a promotion - hes been working below what his level should be as engineer at his company (hes been there 10 years) he basically head projects but isnt a project manager. so hes all responsibility and no accolades/pay. his supervisor warned him that he better be careful cuz theres going to be another round of layoffs. and he had to fight to give him the 2% raise he got (thats not even cost of living...) and no promo. so i told him call the other company that said they would wait for him to see if i got my job due to our health insurance thing, and go. ill figure it out in 3 1/2 months. he said really? and i said yeah make sure you take the other job first call the guy and make sure its still on and they wnat you. and then monday, well give in your nicely worded resignation. i did it with confidence. im probably stupid, but hey, i feel like they threatened him. if the hosp i didnt like calls ill take it. and if not ill work on monday on my agency requirements. what do you think?   at least the kid doenst need surgery for 6 months... steve we both had steady jobs for 8 and 10 years, why does all this crap pile up? <br/>an update, i had my husband call the guy at his (new) job to make sure its still on and they wnat him, after a few hours we got the yes. hes to start on april 18th... as foir me i was out all day and got a message from the facility i dont wnat to work for saying there was aproblem with my references - of course i jumped in my head the hospital said soemthing, but then she continued and said that one of them never got back to them - could i provide another one - a supervisor by any chance? i got home after 6pm, so i didnt return the call yet...,i guess i will have to take it if its offered to me for the health insurance...it will cover us completely and its a ppo. i started to feel a little resentful this afternoon, even though i told my husband he should just take the other job... i am still concerned with odd feeling i had there (they seemed to stress all this importance on pt satisfaction - whihc worried me that it would be mentioned on an interview)...i just dont want to be back where i was... i know after 3 months the possibility for transfer out is there according to them - of course i would have no seniority so i could be bumped several times... i just wish i wouldnt have tot ake one for the team all the time. and i worry what if i cnat satisfy those pts? will i be in the same boat as i was before....? i guess nights could be okay.. i dont know how ill do i am much older thn i was when i did them... and telemetry. well theres nothing good to say about that. ill just have to cross my fingers and hope that no one craps out or i miss something... i just wish i could - if i wasnt going to the er which is where i wish to be, it was at least like a surgery floor - i know those pts much better - and surgeons are usually laid back with their pts....
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Steven Olsen replied 3 years ago.

This is excellent news! In light of the recent posts that you have had, this is tremendous, and occurred in very rapid order... amazingly quick.

 

You have an assignment now, a rule book to follow psychologically speaking for your emotional health:

 

1) Enjoy the joy of this moment. Yes, there is some rough to this situation, but that doesn't take away the fact that you have been hit with good news regarding your daughter, your husband's job and now your own career future in rapid succession.

 

2) Do not allow your self doubt, caused by others, to let the facts get away from you.

  • Fact: You are a good nurse
  • You had years of uninterrupted, great employment
  • The new hospital is not ideal, but few foot in the door jobs are. Yes, its all new but you are bright, and a quick learn. And, you have learned much tougher. (Med-Surg is no picnic)

3) You need to share this joy with your family. Celebrate and do not talk about the what if's. You only have today. You have no idea what the future will hold and for now it is looking good. Act "as if" this is so...and ignore your doubt feelings. They are inaccurate anyway, and are leftover trauma items.

 

4) Although you took one for the team, what a wonderful wife and person you are. (seriously) And, your husband sounds like a man who is willing to help you advance and move ahead with your career once he is set in his new job. It is normal to feel a bit angry. That will pass once things get rolling for you.

 

Live in the now and let the anxiety pass through you. You will feel doubt, but dismiss it.

 

Look, if you were a bad nurse/employee/wife or mother you wouldn't be putting all this energy into your need to do well. That alone is reason to know that you are no screw up, just a person who was involved with a number of dysfunctional people.

 

A new door is opening and opportunity awaits. That is not glass half full thinking. It is simple truth. Live in that truth. Steven

Steven Olsen, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1764
Experience: More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education
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