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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5425
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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My boyfriend had a dream that he was in a threesome with myself

Resolved Question:

My boyfriend had a dream that he was in a threesome with myself and another girl, and the other girl was "servicing him" as I watched. He woke up thinking he might've either dry humped the bed or masterbated in his sleep. He finds the entire situation odd. Does this signify anything important that I should be worried about?

He also has sleep issues, and despite exhaustion, is still not able to rest well. The evening he had that dream he slept maybe 2 hours in total. We have been going out for about 10 months.

Additional notes: sex life seems ok. 2-4 times a week, unless I am on my period, in which we do other things.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 3 years ago.

Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.

 

No, there is nothing wrong with your boyfriend's dream. It is very normal for men and women to dream about sex, but it is more common for men to do so. As long as he doesn't do anything in your relationship to make you feel concerned, then it is fine for him to have these kinds of dreams.

 

If your boyfriend is having sleep problems, have him try some sleep remedies. Have him try winding down for sleep about an hour before bed. Warm milk, with or without nutmeg, may help. A warm shower, a light snack and no TV in bed helps. Practicing relaxation techniques is good to try as well. Start by relaxing in bed. Tense the muscles starting in the head, then relax them. Move to the face, then shoulders and all the way down the body until you reach the feet. Tense and relax each muscle group. By the time he is done, he should feel pretty relaxed.

 

He can also try an over the counter sleep aid that is natural called Melotonin. It is a naturally occurring substance in the body that helps aid in sleepiness. Any regular store such as Walmart should have it, as well as places like GNC.Here is a link for more information on Melotonin- http://women.webmd.com/pharmacist-drugs-medication-9/natural-sleep-remedies.

Be sure he checks with his doctor before taking it, just to be sure.

 

If these remedies do not work, then your boyfriend may need to see his doctor for a checkup.

 

I hope this has helped you,
Kate

Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Hi Kate, thanks for answering my question!

 

It has helped, thank you. It just confuses me because he's been asking me to do things to spice up our bedroom life (i.e. get a blonde wig).

 

I try to help him wind down before bed by either reading him a story (if I am out of town) or I will stroke his head for ten minutes until he relaxes. Both are quite effective. He will, however, wake up at night, toss and turn, and generally be extremely cranky in the morning. His bed is new, and for the most part, is quite supportive for his weight. At the moment, I have him eating a handful of pumpkin seeds before bed, but perhaps a supplement would be more effective?

 

I suppose the problem is not falling asleep but having restful sleep. Is there anything that can be done to promote restful sleep?

 

Thanks!

Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 3 years ago.

His bed may be causing him to wake up at night. A new bed may not be as familiar as his old one, so it could take a while for him to adjust, especially if he is a light sleeper.

 

He can try these ideas on how to stay asleep:

 

Go to bed the same time each night.

 

Don't take naps or fall asleep after dinner

 

Get enough exercise during the day- this is important. It helps promote deeper and more satisfying sleep.

 

Keep the room cool and dark

 

No alcohol or caffeine before bed

 

No big meals

 

If he keeps having trouble, have him see his doctor. But do check to see if he can take the Melotonin. In my personal experience, it works very well.

 

Kate

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5425
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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