Hi JA customer are you there?
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yes I am here
Hi nice to see you
how are you tonight
very depressed and confused
oh yes I am sure
I have read your post and this is so sad
I am glad that you can acknowledge that this is an abusive relationship
it is sad and that is just such a brief summary of what my life has been, I know it could be alot worse, but I am at the point I just dont know how to get better
it took me a long time to get to that point, I really thought for a long time it was all my fault
well its not your fault
you have to care for yourself and your daughter right?
yes I do, he is trying to take her from me now
and the most important thing is that you got away
He wont succeed
most women risk a lot when they try to get away
many of them get killed
so you are lucky that you got out
and are in a safe place
still once you leave that old manipulation that he did to you
but Im not away, he doesnt live here, but he has destroyed every aspect of my life, and the worst part is I sit here and still wish he was back
can still run through your mind over and over
I understand that
but you say he has destroyed every aspect of your life?
does that mean your child is dead?
wait I misread this
he has taken my entire family away, he is spending time with them instead of me being able to, he has filed papers to try and take my daughter from me
oh so your daughter is okay
so your life is not destroyed
she is, but he just shows up sometimes and takes off with her
and as far as taking your family away?
well he could not do that unless they wanted to
so your family wanted to leave you
he had no power to do that to you
unless they wanted to abandon you
so you dont need them anyway
he is manipulative, he convinced my 80 year old grandmother that I use the baby to manipulate him, and poor poor pitiful him
well she would not have abandoned you no matter what he said if she did not want to
so no matter there
and him and my mother are just too chummy, have been from day one, she use to be my best friend, and nd ever since he came along she has been on his side, every time hed do something she would say oh well thats how he is
tell me how we can help you on this?
no one person can force another person to think another way
But i have 3 other children, older, that dont understand y I dont want them around my mother and grandmother now, we are a super tight close family before, they tell my kids I am crazy,
so if your Mom feels as she does it has nothing to dow ith him
so whats the problem?
you keep your kids away
help me to understand the problem here
and if I let them watch the baby they call him and he takes off with her
why would you do that?
what is the problem
if I keep my kids away then I am the bad parent because I wont let them see them , the kids get upset and I again look like the bad guy because I wont let them see therir grandkids
if your mom and grandmom feel as they do why in heck would you allow them to baby sit your kids?
well who cares?
why are you so concerned with what others think?
you cant have it both ways
my biggest problem is moving on, I dont want to miss him, I dont want to feel anything for him, I want to move on with my life and I cant, ive tried so hard
tell me what you did when you tried so hard to move on
so I can help you on this
what did you do to move on?
I live in a tiny tiny town, I lost my business over what other people thought, and now barely have money to feed my kids
so tell me what you did to move on?
and oh no
dont tell me you lost your business over what other people thought
if that is true
you are not a good business woman
I stayed away, I changed my phone number, I even tried dating,
businesses thrive on gossip so I dont buy this for a moment
well thats all good
so how is it that you are still in touch?
if you changed all your contacts?
okay we seem to be having some tech problems or else you are writing on a hand held
so I am moving us to q and as
q and a
see ya there
I owned a restaurant in a small town, perception is everything, and when four of my five female employees walked out because I was being so awful to him because he had went to thieir houses crying about how I wouldnt let him see his baby, then all of thier families stopped eating there, then yes it did rruin my business, you figure a town of 350 people and you get 4 familys mad and the best busniness wooman in the world cant fix it because its not about business its persona
Oh no, make no mistake I completely agree with you perception is everything.
That said, if you lost business because you were awful to him what does that mean? That you held a gun to his head?
he called me at work, and talked me into giving him my new number, there is still a part of me that wants him to come home and that is what I struggle with and I dont know how to stop feeling that way
And NO way I believe for even a second that four of his five employees walked out because you would not let him see his baby? I don't know who you think you are writing to here but this fiction does not wash.
I am going to opt out here so you can speak with other experts on this.
No way am I calling you a liar, but there is no way four of his five employees walked out on him because you would not allow him to see his child. Perhaps he is a liar. I have opted out of this question so lets wait until another expert can weigh in on this.
Good luck, Cathy