Thank you, XXXXX XXXXX the added information. It helps a lot. I believe I can now be of help with this issue.
First, let me say I can imagine how overwhelming this situation must be for you. On the surface it seems as though you should have had nothing to be depressed about yet you have NEVER been able to shake this depression.
And this is actually the key to my answer to you that you need to consider and think about. I need you to pay special attention to something you said: as soon as you hit puberty or close to it, you started feeling a sadness you didn't understand and have never understood: "I feel detached from people although I am very loving,and affectionate".
The reason that you don't understand your feelings and never have is because they are feelings that are carryovers from your infancy! Your depression is a developmental feature of your life you have never been able to address because it occurred before you were cognitively formed enough to give it words and expression. The trauma and lack of bonding in your early infancy did not just disappear simply because you weren't verbal.
The current thinking is that personality forms at around 2-3 years old. Before then, if is IN FORMATION! You are still responding to infant trauma and lack of attachment and bonding. And so you feel detached from people and the world. So what to do?
I rarely recommend hypnotherapy. But here I'm going to! Why? Because it might help you actually work on and address these severe pre-verbal stage symptoms. But recognize that I'm not talking about hypnotism; rather hypnotherapy with a psychologist or psychotherapist. Now here's the important statement about hypnotherapy: hypnotherapy can help with identification of subconscious problems and that's why I'm thinking of it. HOWEVER, there are good and honest hypnotherapists and there are other types. Your only way of assessing is two ways: first, make sure he or she is a licensed psychologist. Don't let anyone tell you they are a licensed hypnotherapist. There is no licensure in most states that I know of. It's all a "self-licensing" which is not good enough. So you want to know his or her license number as a psychologist and call the state licensing board to make sure there have been no complaints filed.
Now Angie, I know what I've been telling you above is rather shocking and bizarre to you. YOu've been told you're depressed, pure and simple. Well, you ARE depressed, but it's not pure and simple! So take some time and go to the library and read about adoption and attachment. And read online. Here for example, is a site with some forums that may or may not be relevant to you:
Okay, Angie. I wish you the very best!
Please remember to click the green accept button. Feel free to continue the discussion; my goal is to get you the best answers possible. Bonuses are always appreciated! If I can be of further help with any issue, just put "for Dr. Mark" in the front of your new question, and I'll be the one to answer it. All the best, XXXXX XXXXX