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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5419
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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I have an ex boyfriend that will not go away that is definitely

Resolved Question:

I have an ex boyfriend that will not go away that is definitely a psycho path what do i do? I changed my number. He shows up where he knows I will be. He knows at this point that I think he is crazy. I dont want him to get vindictive with me or angry. How do I ask him to go away.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 3 years ago.

Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.

 

This may be an obvious first step, but have you asked him to leave you alone? Sometimes, people in relationships can get the wrong idea about a break up, especially men. They may interpret your breakup as you playing hard to get. Make it clear to him (only if you feel safe doing this) that you are done with the relationship and you want him to leave you alone, for good.

 

If you have done that and he still will not leave you alone, there are steps you can take to help the situation:

 

If you feel he is a danger, contact the police. Tell them he is stalking you. They may not be willing to do anything at this point if there is no evidence, but ask if you can file a report and/or file a restraining order. This will establish a paper record of his actions.

 

Gather all the support you can. Do you have brothers or male friends that can go with you when you think you might see your ex? Stay closer to your sisters and/or friends too. Do not go anywhere alone if you can help it. If you do, stay near crowds or in clear sight of other people.

 

Call the phone company and tell them about the harassment. Ask to have his number blocked. Make your number private and do not give it to anyone who is not essential in your life. Do not provide it anywhere on the internet. If you are asked to provide your number for something, give a work number or the number of a friend (with their permission).

 

If you feel you are in danger, buy mace or keep other self defense items with you. Keep emergency phone numbers handy and on speed dial. Keep your phone in your hand when you are out in public. Be aware of your surroundings.

 

Given time, most ex's lose interest. Unless he does something overt and illegal, you may have to wait him out.

 

I hope this helps you,
Kate

 

 

 

 

Customer: replied 3 years ago.

I can try that but this has been ongoing. Being that he doesnt naturally reason well or take rejection well. I dont know if asking him to leave him alone will simply work. This is a criminal I am referring to. I started dating him thinking he was kind handsome and normal but he is not!@!!

Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 3 years ago.

Then I would take this matter to the police. They should be made aware of his criminal history. Does he have a probation or parole officer? You could also notify them as well.

 

Start keeping a log of his actions. Every time you see him or he has contact with you, write it down with the time, date, any witnesses and what your ex did. Share this with the police. It will help establish the pattern and give the police more to work with.

 

Also look into the restraining order. With his background as a criminal, the judge may take your situation more seriously.

 

Kate

Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 3 years ago.

Did you have any further questions or want clarification?

 

Kate

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5419
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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