I confronted him immediately and i just couldn't stop crying as i was so shock.
He said that he was very sorry to have hurt me like that, we have been talking very openly regarding this issues. This actually happened last year (March) and its been over a year but I am still struggling with trust issues. Everyday the image of what I saw that night in March comes to me and I feel so betrayed especially from my husband whom I have trusted so completely and I would have never thought that he would be doing something like this behind my back. I have asked him over the years if he does look at those website and he said to me clearly 'No".
After that night, he answered that he has been looking for the entire of our marriage.
I was so hurt after that, the fact that he had lied to me all this years.
For the last year, we have been through a lot, we both love each other very much and I know that he wants us to move on and forget about the past but I am the one that is suffering everyday about what has happened. The fact that I love him very much thats why it hurts a lot more. He is a wonderful husband and very caring, I could not have asked for a better husband but I dont know if I can trust him again.
I have installed the spy software on all our computers, I feel so horrible doing it and I have told him what I did
and he said that "he is very sorry for what he did, he can't take back what has happened but will promise to never hurt me again after what he saw how sad
Some days we are very happy and some days I am sad and he couldn't do much or say much as he knew what made me sad.
After the incident, I have suicidal thoughts and have been contacting the suicidal hotline for help. Now I am ok but just cant go past the trust issues.
I am very scared that this might happen again. I love him very much and want to spend the rest of my life with him (likewise for him) but I also don't want him to have to live with me and live a lie like he has been doing for the past 13 years. ( I am 38 years old and he is 39)
He has asked me to go the see a marriage counsellor together to help us go through with this problem. Do you think it is a good idea?