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Arundhati
Arundhati, Counselor & Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 259
Experience:  Licensed psychotherapist, Published Wellness Author
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Hi, I just wanted to know can you give an example of somethingfairly

Customer Question

Hi, I just wanted to know: can you give an example of something
fairly common that would lead you to recommend a couple divorces?
I am interested in the most mild thing that would lead to that being
a certain thing to do, not as severe as physical contact, the least
thing you would associate with a person better off divorced.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Owen replied 6 years ago.
Hello, and I am pleased to help, use of my answers are for educational purposes only.
What are you asking about???
Customer: replied 6 years ago.

Well, I had a question about divorces, and I know that counseling is

an option that is recommended for some couples who are

deciding whether or not to divorce. I am interested in an example

of the mildest thing that would certainly lead to divorce, that

you could say a divorce is necessary, and not like they

constantly subject the person to inhumane conditions, but

I, am interested, in, what the mildest form of that is because

I do not know.

Expert:  Dr. Owen replied 6 years ago.
I am having to bow out of this - I can not help you, not my field
Customer: replied 6 years ago.

Do you have a suggestion as to who might? Should I click on

accept answer? What is one thing that may lead to counseling

being recommended, regarding marriage counseling? Thanks.

Expert:  Arundhati replied 6 years ago.
Hello,

I see that Dr. Owen has opted out and I'm happy to answer your question.

There can be many reasons for counseling being recommended to a couple. Mild reasons could be communication problems between the couple, one person in the partnership feeling unhappy or unheard, or unappreciated. It could be recommended if one person suddenly felt that they relationship was not what they wanted it to be. There are many, many reasons why counseling can be recommended.

I hope this is helpful.

Please let me know if I failed to cover something you were hoping I would.

Kind regards,

Arundhati
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
<p>Thanks, XXXXX XXXXX the question. Another thing I see frequently are </p><p>people who bring a third party into their relationship with their </p><p>spouse or significant other, or even two co-workers bringing a </p><p>third party into the relationship and gaining from it while the</p><p>third party is held at a disadvantage. I've even seen this as</p><p>a management strategy in business, then there are no </p><p>unanswered questions, simply the "third parties" have to </p><p>go, and everyone else benefits. It gives a little feeling of</p><p>superiority to the ones left, and keeps everyone in line</p><p>and trying to stick together. The problem I see is in a couple's</p><p>relationship (non-business) it really is abuse more than</p><p>anything else when it is not defined whether the couple</p><p>has real interest in the third party, and they start to suffer.</p><p>Then, what is the underlying reason for the "acting"? </p><p>There are real situations where someone would not </p><p>wish to associate in a certain way with another person,</p><p>for good reasons, but what I'm referring to is when that</p><p>does not exist but it is pursued. I've seen this happen</p><p>very often. I think it's like substitution, like driving</p><p>an old Yugo (do you know what that is?), a cheap car,</p><p>and using strategies to make it seem like a Rolls</p><p>Royce. What are your comments relative to this?</p>
Expert:  Arundhati replied 6 years ago.
Hello,

Thank you for your additional questions.

Can you please give me an example of what bringing a third party into a couple's relationship would look like? Or even in a business setting - what that would mean? I'm not clear about you mean by "gaining from a third party."

Thank you so much. I look forward to answering your question after I have a better understanding of what you meant.

Kind Regards,

Arundhati
Customer: replied 6 years ago.

In my opinion, it happens all the time, whether on purpose or if

people change the way they interact with others in their company.

 

A husband starts paying attention to another woman, one person

in particular gets more attention at work, more recognition,

then things start to happen. Thanks for your answers!

Expert:  Arundhati replied 6 years ago.
Hello,

Thank you for providing that example. Yes, that's absolutely true. A third person in the marriage can be a big reason for marriage problems to start and/or for the marriage to disintegrate.

And a third person getting more attention at work can certainly lead to more stress for the party at the receiving end. I've worked with many clients in that situation.

Please let me know if you have more questions.

Kind regards,

Arundhati
Customer: replied 6 years ago.

I will click on accept answer, but it was what is that called,

in your opinion; what is it?

Expert:  Arundhati replied 6 years ago.
Hello there,

Thank you for your reply. I think some people have a tendency to manipulate all the attention, they are essentially insecure within themselves. And they might will often go to any lengths to draw attention to themselves - whether by feigning lack of knowledge about something, or sweet talking or heaping praise or appreciation on to someone - they will come up with ways and means to get all the attention.

Hope that answers your question.

Kind regards,

Arundhati
Arundhati, Counselor & Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 259
Experience: Licensed psychotherapist, Published Wellness Author
Arundhati and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

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