Thank you very much Selah, you got me good clues. Let me put here a full summary of the whole story and I can give you a bonus for extra $15.
My girlfriend manifests two types of personalities, where behaviours, beliefs, perceptions of the facts, and mood vary significantly, and are very contradictory. This switch tends to happen at a very predictable rate (every 7 to 10 days). The trigger is something we are discussing and she completely misunderstands what I said, my intentions, my mood. She won't listen to any clarifications I try to make. She simply attacks me which end up driving me mad at her at certain point and we have horrible arguments. Another important point, this switch happens exactly when we reach a new peak of love.
The first personality seems to be the real her. She's very mature, believes in our relationship (we have all that the other always wanted - I see the same). For her and for me we have the most complete type of love we've ever had before (she has all she's ever wanted: love, affection, great sex, friendship, my support and her need to support me, I'm sensible, understanding, etc.). She realizes she's instable and hurts me for things that have no connection to me, and she's sad because she hates doing that to me. She acknowledges that when her personality changes, she gets into some sort of "bubble" were she's disconnected from her feelings and she becomes cold with a strong need to be in peace. In reality, she's very caring, and my feelings are really important to her. She makes plans about us moving together, but she's responsible in the sense that she knows we have issues that need to be worked on before that.
The second personality is full of fear. She fears I don't love her enough (or I don't love her at all), she doesn't believe her love for me as well (as if she's needy and falls for the first one who says "I love you"), she fears a lot being broken heart and she can't allow herself to love me fully otherwise she'll go back to the black hole she was June last year (see details later). She can't be with me for her kids (2 kids, 10 and 7) even though they truly like me and one of them sees me as a father figure already. She sabotages us. She can completely twist something I say, and sometimes she listen or even read words and sentences I never said or wrote. She's very negative about us, and she has the very strong need to go back to her old routine (comfort zone), where she's almost like a single mother of two, works, doesn't need a man, is constantly tired, frustrated, moody, and sometimes depressive, where she has almost no time for herself, and has her life pretty much controlled by the travel schedule of her ex-husband. She also believe she's doing great. She can be very stubborn, completely cold towards my feelings, she has the need to hurt me because I hurt her (she can't see what she did to create the whole argument). She's very sure she doesn't want to come back to me and we'll never work out. She minimizes anything good we have and empower anything negative we have.
NOTE: these personalities changes also affect the way she deals with the kids; changing from tough but caring and responsible mother, to spoiling mother
Key Aspects of her life:
- Loss of her mother (cancer) when she was 11
- Father becomes alcoholic and can't take care of family (she always resents the total lack of support throughout her life towards her - example, when she divorced, he didn't even call. There are too many examples).
- She becomes "mom" of the family
- The father hires a maid who's very abusive, saying things that totally hurt her self esteem. She goes often to her room, hit her head with flip-flops for hours until she gets into some sort of a trance, a state of peace.
- From late adolescence to the age of 26 she had 3 long term relationships. She also had many good friends (her memories of childhood and adolescence are as if they were really great).
- Soon after breaking up with a boyfriend she meets her future husband. She had "love at first sight", and dates him for 1 month. He lives in a different country. She visits him and spends two weeks with him there, and then they date over the phone for about 3 months. She decides to move to Canada to marry him. Friends and family say she's nuts. She's stubborn and does it anyways. 3 years later they have a baby. Problems start to be evident (his constant traveling, lack of support, grumpy/fussy behaviour, low intimacy, different values, egoistic behaviour, etc). Despite that, 2 years later they decide to have a second child. Her motto was "this relationship has to work at all costs". It lasted 12 years, she developed depression, was constantly exhausted (as she also studied/worked), and didn't get what she really wanted. Despite that, she says she would have done everything again "for her kids".
- Soon after they split, she gets involved with a great friend whom she knew wasn't the right guy for her. Both were very hurt in the relationship. It lasted 3 months, although they were still emotionally connected for about 5 months after that. The guy complained a lot of her "back and forward behaviour - pro relationship, against relationship. He said she was crazy. Last talk they had while still "connected" she believes he said that for him, it was pretty much about sex (and she felt like used as a sex toy). He denies saying that.
- May last year, she starts developing pre psychotic crisis symptoms. In late may her best friend then (my ex-wife) realizes I have feeling for her and mistreats my girl (my ex-and I were splitting). Fernanda gets into a 3 week period of psychotic crisis. In this meantime, she also lost the "support" from her ex who found out about her relationship with the ex-friend (and he was very cruel to her, even knowing of her very delicate state)
- She attempted suicide. She took several pills, and was about to take more pills when I called her and went there for help.
- She's got 3 diagnostics: 1: Schizophrenia. 2: Bi-polar (less than 2 months later). 3: Depression (one month later). She's being taken medicines for depression since then: Wellbutrin, Pristiq, and a third for sleeping problems.
- She's also in therapy for the last 8 months. She's starting to realize it's not working. The therapy is mostly about boosting her ego, so she feels she's never been better in her entire life. But the problems, the twist of personalities, and the predictable constancy of those persist.
I suspect she may have Dependent Personality Disorder and/or as you suggested Borderline Personality Disorder. I believe she need some medicine she's not taking, and definitely she needs better therapy and we've just started going to couple's therapy - she was reluctant for months and now she sees the value.
Please, any help will be significantly appreciated. Thanks