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Ask Luann Your Own Question

Luann
Luann, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 158
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist, 24 years experience working with children, adolescents, families and adults.
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Is there any way that I can help my 50 year old daughter who

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Is there any way that I can help my 50 year old daughter who is displaying huge problems with her life today? History of sexual abuse, alcohol, addictive relationship and perhaps drugs. She is living out of her car.

Luann :

Hello

Luann :

What a difficult situation!

Customer:

Hello Luann

Customer:

Yes, I have lost much sleep over the years.

Customer:

She seems to enjoy being a victim anymore

Luann :

Your anguish is understandable. Unfortunately there is not a lot you can do. She is an adult and can not be forced into any services unless she is a danger to herself or others. The best thing you can do is to stay in touch with her.

Luann :

Can you contact her by phone?

Customer:

Yes, but she never answers. I just leave messages. Last night I phoned using star 67 and she answered. She did not say hello and I heard her I think, try to turn the pho;ne off. She left the line open by mistake and I listened to about 30 minutes of dialoge over the phone. Her "boyfriend" was there and yelling and cursing at her. I heard him yell that she was not going to drive (it is her car) She yelled back I told you that I had to go to the doctor She was in a car accident and has not been able to return back to work. Her boyfriend is hoping that she gets disability as he has little desire to work and usually does not.

Customer:

He has lived off her for about 3 years now

Customer:

I have left a message that I am willing to come and get her. I live in Michigan and she is in Texas

Luann :

What she primarily needs from you is love and support. She has to find her own way. Stay in contact with her, leave messages letting her know you care and will help her if she wants help. Be prepared with resources in her area. Contact the county social services department in her area, describe her problems and ask for resources. United Way is a good contact for resources too and can be reached by dialing 2-1-1 or going to their website www.211.org.

Luann :

Get some support for yourself too. A group like Alanon could be a big source of support. Given her alcohol and drug problems you would be welcome. Seek out a counselor for additional support in needed. You are doing all you can. It is up to your daughter to make the changes she needs to make her life.

Customer:

Are they in every city?

Customer:

United Way

Luann :

Every major city and will typically have resources for the surrounding area.

Customer:

Thank you I will look into these

Customer:

There is no service that kidnaps people and takes them to a boot camp????

Luann :

Unfortunately, that would be illegal. It certainly seems like a good option for some people though doesn't it?

Customer:

Yes, it would be for her. I know I have heard of it

Luann :

Honestly she will respond best to your love and support. Work on detaching from her choices/behavior. Get support for yourself.

Customer:

Ok I will do that. Thank you.

Luann and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

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