Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.
What you are having is a very normal reaction to an abnormal event. Abuse survivors often experience PTSD, so you are not alone.
Medications are wonderful for helping you cope with the overwhelming symptoms of PTSD. But they can only reduce symptoms, not help manage the PTSD in the long run. In order to make the PTSD manageable in your life, you need to include therapy in your treatment. If therapy has not been effective before for you, you may need to seek out another therapist. Finding a therapist you can work with is much like finding a good family doctor, sometimes you need to see a few until you find one that clicks with you. Here is a guide on how to find a good therapist: http://psychcentral.com/find-therapist/
The best therapy options for anxiety and PTSD is cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and Integrated therapy, which is a combination of CBT and psychotherapy- digging in a little deeper in your past to get to the root of the PTSD. To find a therapist, try asking your doctor for a referral or if you attend church your pastor can help. You can also search on line at http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/.
You may also want to consider family therapy. Your husband (and anyone else involved in your life) can go with you to learn more about PTSD and how to help you cope. That way, when you do disagree with each other, your husband can be more aware of how you react and he can use what he learns in therapy to help you cope. He can also learn your triggers and how to learn not to take the symptoms you experience personally, but to see them for what they are- a reaction to what you have been through.
You can also help yourself at home. There are several very good programs and books that can help you. Learning about anxiety and stress themselves can help you deal with your symptoms. Have you tried Lucinda Bassett's Midwest Center for Anxiety and Stress? She has a good website and several very good books on anxiety. Also, I highly recommend Edmund Bourne's book The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook. He also has several other very helpful books. Claire Weekes also has several very good books on anxiety. Here are some more resources:
The PTSD Workbook: Simple, Effective Techniques for Overcoming Traumatic Stress Symptoms by Mary Beth Williams and Soili Poijula
The Cognitive Behavioral Workbook for Anxiety: A Step-by-Step Program by William J. Knaus
For your husband: The Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Relationship: How to Support Your Partner and Keep Your Relationship Healthy by Diane England
Coping with Anxiety: 10 Simple Ways to Relieve Anxiety, Fear & Worry by Edmund J. Bourne and Lorna Garano
Here is another site that may help you get ideas for coping: http://www.ptsd.va.gov/public/pages/fslist-self-help-cope.asp
Have you also consider joining a support group to help you? Although it feels better sometimes to withdrawal and not have to deal with the outside world, a support group would give you a chance to be with people who have experienced a trauma and deal with PTSD. You would be able to share, get ideas on how to help yourself, and gain support and understanding, and know that you are not alone. Try contacting your local community mental health center for referrals in your area.
Please let me know if you have any further questions or if I can help in anyway.
I hope this has helped you,