Thank you for writing in to Just Answer.
You clearly have a LOT on your plate. You're juggling so many things and its very understandable how your husband's constant forgetfulness weighs down on you.
From what you describe it does sound like your husband is suffering from memory problems that might be stemming from a disorder such as ADD
or even a high level of anxiety
. A mental health evaluation will definitely help to pinpoint what the issue might be and accordingly appropriate treatment can be prescribed.
On your part it seems that you are constantly frustrated because of his forgetful less and even though you've raised the topic several times it doesn't sound like he's taking any concrete steps to address or rectify the issue. So what I'd recommend for you to do is to set clear time lines for him within which he needs to address this issue making it clear to him that you will otherwise take it as his lack of commitment towards the marriage. In other words, he needs to know that there are consequences to his forgetting things.
Other than that I would also recommend helping him find tools to remember things. For example google tasks can be connected to google calender and an alarm can be set for reminding him of things. So if he has a Droid phone this can easily be set up to help him remember bill payment dates and other details. Even if it doesn't use a Droid phone, there are many apps that can be downloaded for free that helps users of Nokia, iPhone and other smart phones to remember their tasks, deadline dates and appointments with ease.
If you're currently not on therapy, that is something you could consider as well. Just so you can process the frustration you are faced with on a day to day basis, learn more coping skills to best address this issue with your husband and also ensure that your behavior in no way enables your husband's forgetfulness.
I hope that was helpful. Please do feel free to write back with any clarifying questions/thoughts or reactions to what I wrote above.